If you’re a married man and she’s giving you glances, you may not want to look back at all. But for most men, it’s a very hard thing not to do, because we like to feel good. Even if you’re married, you like to feel you’ve still got what it takes.
You also wonder – what’s going on? Maybe she knows me? Especially if she's being a little bit aggressive. It’s only happened to me a few times, but it does happen. So do you want to look back or do you want to ignore her?
When a woman looks your way, the decision to return the gaze requires finesse. Assess the context: is it a fleeting glance or a prolonged connection?
If it seems casual or accidental, a subtle smile or nod acknowledges the moment without intrusion. However, if the gaze holds intent and interest, a reciprocal look can be a confident yet respectful response.
Gauge body language for cues, ensuring your actions align with the situation. Respectful acknowledgment can foster a positive result, while disrespectfulness can lead to issues.
Ultimately, you have to determine your next steps rather quickly, so thinking through the entire scenarios like this upfront can save you from a headache down the road.
#2 Give Yourself Permission to Smile
This disarms people – they tend to smile back. There's nothing wrong with smiling at another person – you can do this with a guy!
‘Smize’ is a term coined by Tyra Banks for ‘smile with your eyes’. When your heart’s in your mouth, it’s easy to forget to put your smile in your eyes. Smirking awkwardly while your eyes show all the humor and happiness of a rabbit in headlights is not a good look – especially since it’s your eyes she’s looking at.
Try it in front of the mirror and you’ll see the difference between a smile that reaches your eyes and one that never gets past your nose. You can even ‘smize’ with your eyes alone – a masculine look that suggests a warm heart glowing just for her under your tough and cool exterior.
#3 Make Eye Contact – Two Seconds Is Plenty
Many times we only go for a fraction of a second—if you want to see if she’s interested you want 1-2 seconds. Don't go over this – that's when you get into creepiness territory.
A woman looking at you doesn’t have to be stressful. The more you get used to this technique, the more you can relax, be confident, and enjoy it. And the more you do that, the more naturally attractive you’ll be.
#4 Use Open Body Language
She made eye contact and smiled back, now it's on to the next step.
How do you show attraction through body language and get a girl's number? Simply turn your body in her direction. Psychologists determined that leaning forward slightly without crossing your arms and legs is most effective.
The Journal of Evolution and Human Behavior also discovered that men were most successful when their body language indicated social dominance.
#5 Go Talk to Her
You've done everything right so far. Now it's time to make your move. The critical factor here? Don't overthink it.
Walk up and introduce yourself with your head up. Make sure you've done your skincare routine using a face wash, face scrub and face moisturizer for extra points. Also – looking down could be perceived as weakness.
A polite handshake should be the most physical contact you try at first. Don't do it as you would with other men though. Hold her hand gently and slowly as you shake, then slowly release. Keep making eye contact throughout introducing yourself.
Compliment something other than her looks – Acknowledge something of hers that pushes her personality and style to the fore, such as her generosity or unique style of purse.
Bring up a shared interest – Use your common environment to strike up a conversation. Try asking what their experience at that venue has been like.
Ask for her honest opinion – Therapists have cited that anyone will be happy to share their opinions with an interested party. If you give her an opportunity to talk about herself, she'll feel that much more comfortable.
Tell a bonding joke – Jokes are disarming and are particularly powerful because they work at a biological level. When a woman laughs, she releases oxytocin, a ‘bonding hormone' that influences her to be more open to further conversation.
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#6. How To Get A Girl's Number
If you've made it this far, congratulations. She's clearly interested and enjoying her time with you. At this point, you need to get her number if you want to see this woman again.
Ultimately, when a girl looks at you with eyes full of attraction she may well be hoping something like this will happen. Asking for her number might feel like a big step but remind yourself that you wouldn't have gotten to this point if she wasn't interested in you.
Get her number at a high point in the conversation. What is the high point? When you're both enjoying the conversation so much you don't want to leave. It's precisely then that you should leave though to leave her wanting more.
Don't ‘ask' for her number. Tell her you need it to keep the conversation going later. It's important that she gives you her number and not the other way around. This is a better indicator of success and confidence.
Finally, don't overreact – say “Thanks, I'll call you soon!” and take your leave.
If you’ve been following me for a while, you’ll know that I like to bring science into everything. There’s hard empirical data behind these techniques.
A 2005 study showed we perceive people as more attractive when they shift their direction of gaze towards us and make eye contact with us. (That might be why you’re suddenly so interested in her, too.)
Another study revealed eye contact AND smiling together are more attractive than eye contact OR smiling alone. I’ve explained in a previous article why a good smile makes you more attractive.
It’s hypothesized that we’re just wired to like people who like us. After all, if Ug the caveman picks Uggette, who gets butterflies every time she sees him, over Uggabella, who’s more interested in her pet rocks, he’s a lot more likely to have descendants.
8. What To Do When A Girl Looks At You: Bonus Tips To Supercharge Your Eye-Fu
1. Sticky Eyes
Sounds unattractive, but ‘sticky eyes’ can make a woman melt. When you look away from her, turn your head away first, but let your gaze linger a moment longer. The impression this gives is that you find her so desirable it’s hard to tear your eyes away from her—but you respect her too much to gawk.
2. Look Confident—But Not Too Cocky
Unless you’re Harrison Ford, there is such a thing as looking too cocky.
Most women won’t appreciate your ‘heh heh heh, I see you checking me out’ face. That’s the behavior of an immature boy who’s insecure about his masculinity. Be a man and meet her eyes with a quiet confidence that says, ‘You’re beautiful—and we’d be beautiful together.’
3. Read Her Signals (Does She Like You?)
Hold the wishful thinking. A quick polite smile may be just that: politeness. Women are taught to smile in social situations much more than men.
And if she looks away when you make eye contact, she might be uninterested—or she might just be shy, flustered, and thinking ‘What Do I Do When A Guy Looks At Me?’
But:
If she looks away and then looks back for another peek…
If she holds your gaze for a couple of seconds…
And especially if she smiles while looking into your eyes…
…she’s probably into you. (And she might have read this article, too.)
So NOW What Do I Do When A Girl Looks At Me?
You can strike while the iron’s hot and approach her now; you can play it cool, finish whatever you’re doing, and stroll up to her when you’re good and ready; or you can do nothing. You don’t have to hit on her if you’re not that interested—you can just enjoy the moment of flirtation and move on.
When a girl's flirtatious glances invite a connection, consider taking the initiative with a confident approach. Gauge her body language for additional signals of interest, such as smiles or subtle gestures.
If the atmosphere permits, casually make your way toward her, maintaining approachability and genuine interest. However, be attuned to social cues; if she appears uncomfortable or disinterested, respect her boundaries.
Initiating a light conversation based on shared surroundings or interests can ease any tension. Remember, sincerity and respect are paramount. Trust your instincts.
The techniques I’ve given you on what to do when a girl looks at you today are powerful. They’re not foolproof though. At the end of the day, women are people, not computers. Every woman has her own turn-ons and hang-ups, so while there are some things that most women are into, there’s no substitute for being alert to her feelings and respecting them.
Make sure you remain respectful no matter what you end up doing, as there truly is nothing more attractive to a woman than a guy who treats her with the utmost respect.
Learn more about how to talk to women and I’ll teach you the clear body signals that a woman is uncomfortable. Plus, the signs that the atmosphere is getting hot…
FAQs: What Do You Do When A Girl Looks At You
How should I respond when a girl looks at me?
A polite and friendly response is always a good approach. You can smile, make eye contact, or even initiate a conversation if appropriate. Pay attention to her body language and respond accordingly.
Does it mean she likes me if a girl looks at me?
Not necessarily. While prolonged eye contact or repeated glances can be signs of interest, it's important to look for additional signals to determine if she likes you. Body language and verbal cues provide more insight.
Should I approach her if she looks at me?
If you're interested in getting to know her, approaching her can be a good idea. However, ensure you approach with respect, confidence, and sensitivity to her comfort level.
What if I'm not interested when a girl looks at me?
If you're not interested, it's important to be respectful. You can acknowledge her with a polite smile or nod, but avoid leading her on or giving false signals.
How can I tell if a girl's look is friendly or flirty?
Flirty looks often involve prolonged eye contact, subtle smiles, or playful gestures. Friendly looks tend to be more casual and relaxed. Pay attention to the overall context and her body language for more clues.
Can I smile back when a girl looks at me?
Absolutely! A warm smile is generally a friendly and inviting response. It can help create a positive connection and make her feel comfortable.
What if I feel nervous when a girl looks at me?
Feeling nervous is normal, especially if you're attracted to her. Take a deep breath, relax, and remind yourself to be confident. Practice self-assurance and approach the situation with authenticity.
What if a girl quickly looks away when I catch her eye?
Looking away quickly can indicate shyness or feeling caught off guard. Respect her boundaries and avoid pressuring her. If you're interested, you can try to establish a connection gradually.
Can I initiate a conversation when a girl looks at me?
Yes, initiating a conversation can be a great way to explore a potential connection. Start with a friendly greeting or a casual comment related to the situation.
Should I wait for her to make the first move if she looks at me?
While traditionally the expectation may be for the man to make the first move, it's not set in stone. If you're interested, don't hesitate to take the initiative and make a genuine connection.
How can I tell if a girl wants me to approach her after looking at me?
Look for additional positive cues such as lingering eye contact, open body language, or even subtle gestures inviting you to approach. Trust your instincts and proceed with respect.
What if she continues to look at me repeatedly?
Repeated looks can suggest interest or intrigue. If you're interested as well, you can respond by smiling back or initiating a conversation to explore the connection further.
What if I don't know how to approach her after she looks at me?
Approaching someone can be nerve-wracking, but remember that confidence comes with practice. Start with a simple greeting or find a common topic to initiate a conversation. Remember, being genuine and respectful is key.
Click below to watch the video – What To Do When A Woman Looks At You?
I'm Antonio Centeno, the founder of RMRS. I'm a former Marine Corps Officer with a BA in Evolutionary Biology and Philosophy (Cornell College 98') and an MBA from The University Of Texas at Austin (07'). I studied the Science of Style in London, Hong Kong, and Bangkok and have created over 5000 videos/ articles to help men dress better. Click here to discover more about me and our mission here at RMRS.
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