Guess who was voted the sexiest man of the year in 1989?
And the sexiest man of the century in 1999?
Sean Connery.
And do you know how old he was when he was voted the sexiest man on Earth?
59.
That's right – women voted a 59-year-old man as sexier than any other man on the planet.
This might be surprising to a lot of men who think that after 40, male attractiveness takes a nose-dive.
Sure – there are a lot of men who give up on their personal presentation around that age but it doesn't have to be that way.
In this article, I'm going to give you 5 tips to maintain your attractiveness past the age of 40.
We'll also discuss male sex appeal and how it's affected by getting older.
Why 40+ Is Actually The Best Decade To Get This Right
Most guys hit 40 and start playing defense. They look in the mirror, see the gray coming in, notice the jawline isn't what it was, and quietly start dressing to disappear — baggier clothes, neutral colors, nothing that draws attention. That's the mistake. The men who actually stay attractive past 40 do the opposite. They start playing offense.
Here's what changes in your favor after 40 that nobody tells you. Your face has more character than it did at 25 — and women read that as evidence you've actually lived. Your bank account, in most cases, is larger. Your career is established. You speak with a different weight in your voice because you've earned the right to. None of those things are working against you. They're working for you, hard, the moment you stop hiding behind your wardrobe.
When I was running my bespoke suit company, my best clients were almost all in their 40s and 50s. Not because they had the most to fix, but because they finally had the patience to invest in one good jacket instead of three mediocre ones. They walked into the shop apologizing for their belly and walked out looking like the most interesting man in any room they'd enter that month. Same body. Different choices.
Sean Connery didn't get voted sexiest man on the planet at 59 because he held onto his 30-year-old face. He got voted because by 59 he'd figured out how to use everything he had. That's the play. The five tips below are how you do the same thing.
Hot Older Men Traits: Introduction
I've had a number of older men approach me on this issue.
Some were men who'd gone through a divorce or were recently widowed, but most questions came from men aged 40+ who were trying to figure out how they could stand out as a distinguished gentleman.
They generally asked similar questions:
- How can I start dressing in a certain way?
- How can I start to use style?
- How can I date younger women without people asking me “oh, is this your daughter?”
Hot Older Men Traits: At What Age Does A Man Look His Best?
I recently found a British study that showed the median age in which a man starts to make the crossover into being considered older is 39.
It's at this point, men start to worry about being unattractive or “old looking.”
And it's not just single gentlemen. Take me for example. Even though I'm happily married to an amazing woman, I still want to appear attractive.
Attractiveness is not just about attracting women. It's about appearing strong and masculine so that you can attract business partners and clients.
When people see you, you want them to be attracted to you on all levels.
Without debating the morality or fairness of it, multiple studies have shown that attractive people are hired sooner, promoted faster, and earn as much as 4% more than their less-attractive counterparts.
When you're perceived as attractive, you're seen as more open and approachable and therefore have a better chance of being exposed to more people, including potential clients and business partners.
So while the following 5 tips were originally developed for older gentlemen concerned by their appearance, they're also applicable to men at any stage of life.
Hot Older Men Traits: How To Look Attractive As An Older Man
#1 Attractive older men look available
A lot of the men I spoke to were recently divorced and were in their mid-forties.
After almost a lifetime of their spouse looking after them and choosing their clothes, these guys found that not only did they lack personal presentation, they had no idea how to improve it.
Some of them went through a long time period during which they simply didn't care about their appearance, and as a result, their confidence was way down. They certainly didn't consider themselves attractive older men.
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Whether you're 40, 50, 60, or 70+, the first step is for you to figure out how to look presentable so that when you walk into a room, women will look at you and quickly determine: “Hey, this guy is on the market. He looks interesting.”
Women are less concerned about age than men are. It's not something that will turn them off.
It's your appearance that counts in this situation. A lot of very attractive women like attractive older men but they make the assumption that an older man is no longer available, and the reason is that for the most part – it's true.
Most single women know that men past the age of 40 are married or involved in long-term relationships.
#2 Attractive older men dress the part
So now you need to send a crystal-clear signal that you're available. Since it's the first thing women notice, you have to dress the part.
Basically, attractive older men start by dressing like a man, not like someone who buys his clothes in a cheap outlet store.
Throw on that sports jacket you never wear (you may have to dry-clean it), or if you're not into sports jackets, start wearing more casual button-up shirts that are going to show that you care about yourself and that you haven't given up on life.
Lose the sneakers and pull on a pair of smart dress shoes or Chelsea Boots. Combine this with chinos or dress pants, and you'll instantly look 100x better.
For added flair – and to really stand out as a distinguished gentleman – add a pocket square.
#3 Attractive older men understand the importance of grooming
Pay careful attention to your grooming. Make sure you read my article on the 7 Grooming Mistakes Men Make.
You tend to sprout hair from everywhere as you grow older so have to make sure you have impeccable grooming habits.
The means trimming your nose hair and eyebrows, investing in a skincare routine (and sticking to it). Wash your face morning and night, use an exfoliator, and follow up with a moisturizer.
It's not as difficult or complex as you think, once you get into the swing of things.
Trust me – attractive older men take care of themselves, and women notice!
#4 Believe it or not, attractive older men might dye their hair
A lot of men start to go gray around the age of 30. There's nothing wrong with this but if you're going prematurely gray, or if you're 50+ and you're looking to date a woman in her 20s or 30s, you may wish to dye your hair.
You've got two options. Dye it yourself at home or go to a salon.
The problem with dyeing your hair at home is that there's a good chance you'll come away with a solid shade of completely unnatural-looking hair. Not a good look.
The most important thing when it comes to dying your hair is that it has to look natural.
My advice when you're starting off? Head to the salon. You can be as forthright as you're comfortable with but you want to relay to them that you want to upgrade your look and you're interested in dying your hair for that purpose.
Once you're committed to dyeing your hair, you have to keep this up regularly. If you don't, you'll look odd when your natural hair color starts growing back in and displacing the colored hair.
I have a friend that's married to a beautiful Russian woman 25 years younger than he is. In all the time I've known him, I never thought about it and then it dawned on me that he's been dyeing his hair for a long time.
I should have known but I simply wasn't paying attention. One day it just struck me and I said to him: “Wow! Good job, Roger.”
Though I've mentioned 50s and 60s, there is absolutely no reason you shouldn't continue doing this into your 60s or 70s, or to start doing it at that age.
More important than anything else is to make sure you have fun. This is something you do for yourself and you don't have to worry about what other people are going to say or think.
If dying your hair makes you feel more confident or younger – go for it.
#5 Attractive older men take care of their bodies
Nothing makes a man look older than if he's carrying on a lot of extra weight, especially in the face.
If you start getting a double chin, you need to reconsider how you're taking care of your body.
The number 1 thing you can do to help is to watch what you eat.
There are some fantastic resources out there, and one I can recommend is Abel James at Fat-Burning Man – a personal friend with great free podcasts, books, and other resources that you can use.
Just make sure you pay attention – you're never going to be able to outrun your mouth when it comes to the food you put into it.
The second part of taking care of your body is to exercise.
It's essential that you don't just focus on one thing, so if you usually just do cardio, try adding some weight training and vice versa.
There's tons of information out there, so you have no excuse. Some of your options are:
- Join a gym
- Join a specific fitness program
- Get a personal trainer
- Work with a dietitian
Whatever you decide on, you have to focus on getting your body in shape if you're an older guy who wants to attract women.
Hot Older Men Traits BONUS: Take care of your teeth
Like many other things, time takes its toll on the teeth. You'll find your teeth yellowing as you grow older.
No woman is attracted to unhealthy, yellow-looking teeth.
If you used to smoke or have just neglected your teeth in the past, you're probably going to want to look at something like getting your teeth whitened.
Be sure to talk to your dentist, and if you have terrible teeth and a bit of money, you may want to consider veneers as an option.
Veneers are a unique way of upgrading your teeth and this will go a long way towards making you look more attractive.
Hot Older Men Traits BONUS #2: Take care of your skin
I touched upon this earlier but if you're already in your 50s or 60s and you've neglected your skin in the past, this is going to be a bit tougher.
You'll have to consider products that have ingredients like retinol DMAE, MSM, and ARGIRELINE.
These ingredients will help you improve the condition of your skin.
No idea what I'm talking about? Go read my article Man's Guide to Lotion | How to Buy Men's Face and Body Products.
If you're in your 30s or 40s, you have a bit more leeway, but you should immediately start paying attention to looking after your skin. Your future self will thank you!
REAL MEN REAL STYLE
What's Your Attractive Older Man Archetype?
Find the 40+ style identity that works with the man you've become
The Quiet Habit That Beats Every Tip On This List
Here's the thing about every tip above. Each one works on its own. But the men who pull this off — the ones you actually notice in a hotel lobby or a restaurant at 7pm on a Friday — they're not doing one of these things. They're doing all of them, quietly, every day, without making a big deal about it.
The clothes. The skin. The teeth. The body. The hair. None of it is loud. The 55-year-old guy who turns heads is wearing a navy odd jacket, dark denim, brown chukka boots, a clean shave with two days of intentional stubble, and a watch you'd have to look at twice to identify. He didn't get there by going on a 30-day overhaul. He got there by stacking small habits over a decade and refusing to skip them when he was tired.
The Marines taught me this one and it applies cleanly here: discipline beats motivation every time. You're not going to feel like moisturizing on a Tuesday morning when it's dark out. You're going to feel like rolling out of bed and getting to work. Do it anyway. The two minutes you spend on your face before you walk out the door is the cheapest investment in your appearance you'll ever make, and the only one that compounds for the next thirty years.
Pick one habit from this article — just one — and do it for thirty days without missing a morning. The grooming routine, the daily walk, the swap from sneakers to Chelsea boots, whatever fits your life. Then add the next one. By the time you've stacked four of them, you'll catch your reflection in a window and realize the guy looking back at you doesn't need this article anymore.
Finally… Attractive Older Men Are Confident!
One of the great things about getting older is that you've been through life, and you've become a lot more confident. And this is a great thing.
You've started to break away from the mainstream, and you begin to realize this is your one shot in life.
Make sure you capitalize on this confidence.
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Know that you're going to have a great time and go live your life the way you want to. And stop worrying about the opinion of others.
And don't make the mistake of ignoring ladies your own age. You may well find that you find a gem there that you won't find in a younger companion.
Some guys don’t get it right. Find out why men are giving up on dating so you don’t make the same mistakes.
Click below to watch the video – The Rise Of WEAK Men? Are Men LESS Masculine?
FAQs: Male Attractiveness and Aging
Does aging invariably mean a decrease in male attractiveness?
No. While some physical attributes might change with age, many people find qualities like experience, wisdom, and confidence—often associated with aging—to be attractive.
Are there any biological reasons behind perceived changes in attractiveness with age?
Yes. Biological changes like thinning hair, reduced skin elasticity, and changes in muscle mass can influence perceptions of male attractiveness.
How do different cultures view male attractiveness in relation to aging?
Perceptions of attractiveness vary across cultures. While some cultures value youthfulness, others might revere the wisdom and status that comes with age.
Can grooming and self-care influence the perception of attractiveness in older men?
Yes. Grooming, skincare, and overall self-care can positively impact perceived attractiveness at any age.
Do all individuals perceive male attractiveness the same way?
No. Attractiveness is subjective, and what one person finds attractive, another might not.
How do mental and emotional maturity factor into attractiveness?
Many people value emotional intelligence and mental maturity, often seen in older individuals, as key components of attractiveness.
Are there health benefits to feeling attractive as one ages?
Yes. Feeling attractive can boost self-esteem and mental well-being, leading to healthier lifestyle choices and improved overall health.
Is there a "peak age" for male attractiveness?
There's no universally agreed-upon "peak age." Attractiveness is multifaceted, and while some might prefer youthful features, others might lean towards characteristics more common in older age.
Do lifestyle choices play a role in how men age in terms of attractiveness?
Yes. Factors like diet, exercise, smoking, alcohol consumption, and stress management can influence how one ages physically and mentally.
Can older men learn from younger generations about attractiveness and vice versa?
Absolutely. Every generation brings its own perspective on attractiveness. Cross-generational exchanges can lead to a richer understanding and appreciation of what makes someone attractive at any age.
