What women find attractive in a man is changing. According to recent studies, guys with more feminine traits could be more attractive than those that ooze masculinity. But what does that mean for a stylish man like you?
It gets confusing – at what point do women stop finding a feminine man attractive and start referring to him as ‘girly?' Trust me; you don't want to be THAT guy.
As ever, it's my job to steer you guys in the right direction. In today's article, I'm breaking out what it means to be an attractive man and whether or not that includes ‘feminine' character traits.
We'll be covering:
- What Makes A Man Feminine?
- Are Feminine Males More Attractive?
- How Do You Show Your Feminine Side?
- Why Don't Women Want An Alpha Male?
- The Verdict: Do Women Like Feminine Men?
#1 What Makes A Man Feminine?
Being a feminine guy could mean a lot of things.
Some women might describe a well-groomed man as feminine. At the same time, others might define feminine as wearing floral scents and pink.
Ultimately, there is no concrete definition of ‘feminine' when it comes to a man's style. In the 70s, guys would have long hair and wear skin-tight clothing – at the time, it was considered attractive and masculine.
However, if you want to know whether or not you're feminine by today's standards of masculinity, there are a few questions you need to ask yourself:
How Much Body Hair Do I Have?
If we're talking about traditional masculinity, body hair plays a big part.
Guys that shave their whole bodies appear far more feminine simply because women are less hairy than men. Your average guy has at least some body hair, so getting rid of it all is a sure-fire way to decrease your masculine appearance.
However, that doesn't mean you should grow a beard if that's not what you're into. A well-groomed man is not necessarily a feminine man! If you prefer the clean-shaven look, don't be afraid to shave every other day; no one will judge you for that!
In fact, a clean-shaven face can reveal one of the most masculine parts of a man's face – the jawline. A strong jawline is considered one of the most attractive and masculine traits a man can have, so keep this in mind when considering whether or not to grow your facial hair to increase your manliness.
Do I Wear Floral Patterns and Scents?
I don't want to be too prescriptive here. However, floral patterns and pastel colors are typically more feminine than masculine.
Once again, this has changed throughout history.
In the ancient civilizations of Egypt, Persia, and India – flowers were seen as gifts from the gods. Men of high social status could wear them or smell them to become closer to their gods.
Greek and Roman men also wore flowers (traditionally in the form of wreaths/garlands). The Romans would use them for religious ceremonies. But they specifically valued roses – which eventually became a universal symbol of love and romance.
However, in the 21st Century, floral patterns and scents have become associated with femininity. A man who wears a floral shirt or smells of a floral fragrance is likely to be seen as more feminine than a guy who smells of cedar and wears dark-colored clothing.
Does that mean you should avoid floral clothing? Absolutely not! In fact, many women explicitly prefer a guy in a floral print. They believe it shows he's easygoing, doesn't take himself too seriously, and is more emotionally mature.
Do I Express My Emotions?
Let me start by saying this: men who refuse to express their emotions put themselves at risk of emotional burnout. It's a destructive habit and causes many guys to suffer in silence and experience mental health problems.
Stoicism is often a bad thing, and it doesn't make you more of a man than those who express their emotions openly.
That being said, there is still a stigma against men who are in touch with their emotions. Being sad, scared, or anxious is often seen as a sign of weakness in men, so many guys hide these feelings away.
The sad thing is most women like a man to express their emotions. The people saying that emotions are weak and feminine are actually other guys! We're setting ourselves an emotional boundary that women don't find attractive – where's the logic in that?
If you're an emotional guy, other men might look at you and think you're feminine. However, women probably won't look at you in the same way. A man who is in touch with his emotions is likely to be understanding of their emotions – which is incredibly attractive to most women.
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#2 Are Feminine Males More Attractive?
Yes and no.
Guys who show classically ‘feminine' traits while maintaining an equal level of masculinity are attractive.
Guys who entirely abandon their masculinity in favor of femininity? Not so much.
As with most things in life, it's all about striking a balance.
Let's think about this in terms of supercars. A Ferrari should be fast and loud – two masculine traits that make it a thrill to drive. But it should also have a slim figure, soft seats, and a great smell – right? Those are some pretty feminine traits.
A supercar's masculine and feminine traits make it incredibly desirable to most people. It's no different when it comes to guys and their levels of femininity.
According to a study conducted by the University of Gottingen in Germany, 90% of women ranked kindness as the #1 trait they find attractive in a partner. This was closely followed by supportiveness and intelligence.
Take note: none of these three personality traits are traditionally ‘manly.' In fact, kindness and supportiveness both require great emotional intelligence, which many would argue is on the feminine end of the personality spectrum.
#3 How Do You Show Your Feminine Side?
At this point, I think it's essential that you understand showing your feminine side is a good thing and will make you more attractive to women. Knowing how to demonstrate your feminine side is vital when presenting yourself as a mature and modern man.
To demonstrate your feminine side, you just need to be open to your emotions, understand your partner's feelings and look after yourself:
- Talk to your partner about how you feel – don't bottle up your emotions. Let them out and communicate them healthily and productively.
- Listen to how your partner feels – if she's upset, ask why. If you don't understand her feelings, ask her to explain them to you so you can get to know her better.
- Assess your grooming routine – are you taking care of your skin and maintaining a healthy diet? Could you join a gym and research the best skincare products for men?
- Be proud of your appearance – is your hair well-styled, and do you dress well? Consider researching the best style tips for men according to your age.
Equally, it's essential you still take part in your masculine interests and hobbies. Don't stop yourself from enjoying a beer with the guys or catching your team's latest game. It's all about balance – do what makes you happy and be the best man you can be.
#4 Why Don't Women Want An Alpha Male?
Gone are the days of wilderness hunting and defending your homestead against mammoths, saber-tooths, and club-wielding cave dwellers.
If a man needs to protect his family, he can drive to Walmart. If someone invades his land, he calls the cops.
Women don't need muscle-bound strong men to be safe anymore. Their priorities have changed along with what they consider the ‘ideal man.' In the 21st Century, women want a good listener, a great talker, and someone who'll make a fantastic father.
You don't need biceps and a six-pack to do those things – so the ‘Alpha Male' concept no longer holds as much weight as it used to.
In fact, women actively dislike guys who try to be top dogs. There's nothing wrong with masculinity, but when it comes to overly aggressive, domineering, and arrogant guys, women get turned off pretty quickly.
27% of female readers of TheList.com claimed that the #1 turn-off in men's behavior was not listening to them, closely followed by rudeness and arrogance. What does this tell us? Simple – a man that thinks he's alpha and doesn't consider the feelings of others is likely to strike out when it comes to modern dating.
Sure – women love guys that take the reigns and show they're independent, but that's very different from acting like an alpha jerk to everyone around you.
#5 The Verdict: Do Women Like Feminine Men?
Women like guys who show feminine qualities while still presenting themselves as masculine.
When it comes to emotions, women want their partners to be open and willing to share in mature conversations about one another's feelings. A stoic man might fit the description of ‘traditional' masculinity, but that will not fly in the modern dating scene.
A man has to be an open book – it shows a greater intelligence and emotional maturity (two things that rank very highly when it comes to attractive male personality traits!)
That's not to say that women don't want a man to show he's a man now and again. Demonstrating your strength and resolve is a great way to appear masculine and show your value to a potential partner – just don't go overboard. There's a big difference between being confident and arrogant – present yourself as a know-it-all alpha male, and you're only going to turn women away.
In short – you need to find the sweet spot between masculinity and femininity. Act like a man, look like a man, but appreciate and understand the need to be more emotional and understanding when the occasion calls for it.
To learn more about what women want, click here to discover my list of traits women find most attractive in a man.
Check out this video: Do Modern Women Prefer Feminine Men Over Masculine Men:
Do Women Dislike Feminine Men?
No - quite the opposite. Guys who can show their more feminine side are actually more attractive to women as it shows they're more emotionally mature.
Do I Have To Abandon My Masculinity To Be Attractive To Women?
Again - no. Women like a man that can show his masculine side. After all, it's part of who we are as men. The trick is to find a balance between being emotionally mature and still masculine in your own way.
Am I Feminine If I Wear Pink And Floral Patterns?
It doesn't really work like that. Demonstrating your feminine traits as a man is more than just changing up the colors and patterns in your wardrobe. It's about recognizing the good things about femininity and mixing those with your masculine personality.