The box…what is it?
When people meet you they place you in a box in their mind.
Is this person:
- Successful or unsuccessful?
- Polite or rude?
- Worth getting to know or not?
So WHY does “the box” matter?
The box = your status…
• Imagine asking someone on a date…they reject you…what box did they place you in?
• Imagine going into an interview…they reject you…what box did they place you in?
• Imagine pitching a group of investors…they reject you…what box….
See what I mean?
Is the box fair? Not always – but it's reality.
But the good news is…you can control the box…if you know how.
This article gives you 5 easy ways to raise your status as a man (none of which requires you to be rich…)
#1: Smile & Be Stylish To Increase Your Status
You might be a little down. You're about to interview for another job you probably won't get. Or you're going on a first date for the third time this month.
Is it okay to feel defeated? Yes. But it's not okay to ACT defeated. That's how you lose the battle before it begins.
So even if the odds of something working out aren't great, act otherwise. Show everybody you're a winner-to-be…by smiling.
A smile (confident but not a cocky one) can level-up your status right off the bat. It's a human thing. Studies reveal that smiling beats frowning – as well a neutral face – in terms of a person's facial attractiveness. If you were to see two faces of the same subject (male or female) with one having a smile and the other being neutral…you're more likely to rate the smiling face as more attractive.
But it doesn't stop there. The most “I'm an awesome guy” smile you can make won't get you far if your clothing tells others “I'm worthless.”
Does it mean people judge a book by its cover?
Yes. That's the world we live in…especially when it comes to first impressions.
However, dressing up well isn't about spending lots of money. Only the rich and famous would be showing status if that were the case. It's about wearing clothes that conform to certain standards. Clothes that society associates with positive thoughts and feelings. That requires:
- Nailing the fit (know your body type)
- Dressing appropriately for your age
- Looking your best for formal & casual settings
- Choosing the right accessories (dress shoes, hats, necktie knots, pocket square folds, etc.)
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Bonus Tip: Wear A Nice Watch
You could try raising your status and think you should make big changes. But that's not true at all.
Your goal is to impress people and gain their respect through small, subtle details. And what could be better than finding a stylish dress men's watch?
Watches enhance your outfits for business or social functions. They can also help you start conversations with different people…maybe even future partners and colleagues.
#2: Try Power Posing To Gain Status
You've got an interview today and you're waiting in the office lobby. Your résumé is good, you know exactly what to say…but this is how you're seated:
• Your head is facing the floor
• Your arms are folded up
• Legs are stuck together
Well…does that look like a guy who believes he's the best candidate?
No. That's someone who thinks he's worthless.
You'd be much better off incorporating “power poses” before an interview or while you're preparing for a presentation.
You could do them for a minute in the restroom, or you could try them in your office when you're alone. What's important is you're consciously giving your body power through these poses…which strengthens the mind.
How true is all of this? Take it from researchers at UC-Berkeley, Harvard, and INSEAD in France who did a test on people doing a mock job interview. Participants had to do either a high-power or low-power stance before the interview (while coming up with a speech about their qualifications).
It turned out that the high-power posers did the interview with better delivery, presentation…and were more hireable overall.
#3: Sit Down The Right Way To Show Status
We don't always realize it: the way we sit = a strong non-verbal cue. People tend to make quick judgments about others based on how they're seated.
Unlike standing – your legs have more options to position themselves. You can keep them together with no space in between…but that's similar to the “closed” nature of folding your arms. Not to mention it's uncomfortable for men!
What you want to do is either:
A. Sit with both feet on the floor and legs 11-24 inches apart (with your body upright)
B. Use the Figure-Four Leg Lock Position (see the image above)
Not only are both positions more comfortable to take…but they allow you to show a more open and less defensive attitude. They raise your confidence levels. You feel a sense of power transferring from the body to the mind (since people with power are often seen to take up more space).
And these positions signal you're actively listening to somebody else talking – which helps in meetings or networking events.
#4: Master Good Handshakes & Eye Contact
We're all taught to shake hands with people we just met, to look them in the eye during conversations…and these lessons become second nature. There's just one problem: we're not actually taught how and how much.
There's sort of a scale from “not enough” to “too much” for both practices. To express trust and honesty you'll have to find that middle ground. Otherwise…it'll damage your status when people believe you're not trustworthy the minute they meet you.
What's a good handshake?
Don't just touch the other person's fingers without gripping their hand. The other extreme is gripping too tight (as in airtight) or going beyond two up-and-down motions. Those mess-ups can happen if you're nervous. So you do want to find that midpoint, practice it with a friend, and make it a habit.
It's a similar issue for eye contact. Eye contact is crucial while shaking hands (for as long as the handshake is) or making requests. But it's trickier with extended, less personal communication.
The University of British Columbia did a study where students were made to listen to a speaker and look non-stop at either (A) his eyes or (B) his mouth. The result? The ones in category A felt less comfortable listening than the other group did.
Those students thought the speaker was “aggressive” with the incessant eye contact…and he seemed less persuasive.
So when you're delivering a long speech or presentation, never make eye contact with any single person for more than 30-60% of the time.
#5: Learn To Communicate Well To Improve Status
Just watching my videos, you can tell I love to talk. Actually…I do more than just talk. I communicate.
What is good communication?
It's knowing your audience, sharing ideas they can relate to, so they feel a certain way about your speech at the end. You leave them feeling inspired, enlightened or even happier. And when you make people feel good by talking…your status skyrockets.
How do you accomplish those things? The trick is to be a great storyteller. Good storytellers have a way of connecting with their listeners (helping the release of oxytocin) and keeping them all ears.
There are three angles in storytelling you can take: professional, social, and romantic. To master them – it's about practice and repetition.
Another good tactic is to use positive humor in conversations.
Studies have shown that women are particularly more attracted to men who can be witty, use puns, and lighten the mood – as opposed to men who tease others or use self-deprecating jokes. It's even better if you infuse this humor in your storytelling.
Why do people appreciate good stories and positive, witty humor?
It's because those qualities tend to showcase one's intelligence. And in general…intelligent people are perceived with more status. So don't undervalue your communication skills.
We all need to present ourselves well. Sometimes we struggle with confidence. We feel like we don't belong in the same room as everybody else. Or we're too nervous about the occasion that we forget to be natural.
To be respected and become a high value man in the eyes of others all you've got to remember are those 5 tips on body language and communication.
Learn to control your body, your speech, your attitude (relax!) and you'll always get off to a great start. Anyone you meet will listen, feel comfortable, and think highly of you. You'll impress them…and everything else should follow smoothly.
What's your best source for learning all these things? You're on it right now. Just browse RMRS to expand your knowledge and find all the answers to any questions about men's style.
Click below to watch the video – 5 SIMPLE Ways To ELEVATE Your Game & Reach Full Potential