When you don’t make it, people advise you to go for it.
When you do, people find fault in your methods.
It's to be expected.
Change is uncomfortable.
Not just for you, but to others who are used to the old you.
You’ve developed a great sense of style. But your friends are not happy about it.
They bicker that you’re dressing flashy because you want attention and you stand out like a sore thumb.
Most likely, your positive change reminds them of their own lazy way of dressing.
They are accustomed to seeing you in a certain light and now have to re-adjust their perception of you which brings out the insecurities in themselves.
Why are others so insecure when you start to make a positive change?
How do you deal with their not so positive feedback?
This article will cover the top 10 objections I hear AND how to deal with them.
Objection #1 – You're Spending Too Much Money On The Superficial
It is easy to misunderstand the need for change when the reason for the change is unclear.
A common misconception among the general population is that great style costs a lot of money. Only celebrities and high-net individuals with access to stylists are expected to look their best all the time.
If the people closest to you are allowed to be part of the change there is less resistance. Involve them in your new style project and ask them to keep you accountable. Consulting with your friends and family and asking them to be your allies will allay their fears that you are wasting your money.
Show them how you are actually saving money by improving your knowledge about style.
Some of the lessons that you will benefit from are understanding the versatility of certain clothes, the importance of fit and quality. Make it obvious that the change in your style is economical in the long run by sharing the lessons you learn through your own shopping experiences.
Objection #2 – You Are Overdressed & Making Me Look Bad
When you start dressing better than before, it may appear that you like drawing attention to yourself. Dressing well is not dressing flashy. Your style should be authentic to your personality, and appropriate for the occasion.
Most occasions simply don't call for a stylish suit. Wearing a smart suit for work is perfectly acceptable if that is the dress code for your job. Wearing a suit on a date or to a casual party will definitely make you stand out.
Most people in modern societies dress casually, which often equates to sloppy. Unfortunate as it is, any attempts on your part to dress up will eventually leave others feeling under-dressed.
You can choose to dress subtly, but in well coordinated, appropriate outfits. Respect the feelings of others and let them know that you are not judging them for their sloppy appearance.
At the same time, stand your ground – after all, you have made a personal commitment to be the best-dressed version that you can be.
Objection #3 – You Look Like A Stiff Suit
What's the best way to avoid looking like you walked out of a formal employment role? My advice is that men should actually go shopping.
Create your own unique style instead of playing it safe by looking like the rest of the smartly dressed people in your office. Browse more specialty shops, find unique items of clothing that are both formal and suit your personality.
Window shop. Try on lots of different things even if you have no plans on buying them. This teaches you what looks good on you. The cuts, colors, and styles that compliment your body and lifestyle.
Lastly, don't be shy to walk into more expensive or top-brand stores. You may find a surprise bargain!
Objection #4 – Why Are You Looking For Attention?
When basketball players make the NBA do they get attention? Sure.
Do they play basketball for the attention? No, they play it for the love of the game.
Dressing professionally speaks to the love of the game (life role) you are playing.
You're not dressing for attention, but opportunity.
Attention comes to all of those who are successful.
If you think attention is bad, go ahead and never be successful in life.
Objection #5 – You're Putting In Too Much Work
People are comfortable in their routine. They prefer sticking to their comfort zones. It makes them feel secure.
When you step outside your comfort zone, expect resistance from those who are uncomfortable with the change in you. Your new sense of style will add discipline to other areas of your life.
Any change in your regular routine is bound to cause disruption to others who are comfortable with the old version of you.
Dressing well does take effort.
For a person with a busy schedule, this can be time-consuming. However, with some planning and building the right systems, you can actually dress faster save time in the long run.
Show them that the benefits and rewards resulting from making the changes in your dressing is worth the trouble. Share your success stories with them and let them know how people treat you because of your new found confidence.
Objection #6 – You Shouldn't Judge People Based On Their Clothes
This PC world we live in tells us we should never judge someone based off their appearance.
In theory, that sounds great.
But the human brain subconsciously makes snap judgments about people based on how they look. A man who controls his image understands this basic tendency of human nature. He uses it to his advantage by being well-dressed.
People may object to your emphasis on your outer appearance by saying that clothes shouldn't matter and that they want people to judge them based on who they are, not how they look.
Who you are IS just as important. Dressing well does not equate to ignoring your character. But embedded in humans at an evolutionary level is something called survivability.
Do you lock your doors at night? When someone knocks on your door do you look through the window? Or open it immediately? Do you make a “survival” snap judgement based on their appearance?
If you care about your friends, let them know that you are still the non-judgmental guy they knew in the past. However, you understand the importance of first impressions in our fast-paced modern society. Share with them the secret of the anchor effect and why first impressions really do matter.
Objection #7 – Why Are You So Dressed Up? Do You Have A Job Interview?
Here is a true story for you.
My friend Travis had a corporate job that was business casual.
One day he decided to make a simple change and wear a tie to work.
His manager comes up and jokingly asks “Why are you dressed up? You have an interview or something?”
Travis laughs it off and says “nope, just trying to dress more professional.” Which was true.
Later that day his manager calls and gives him a raise. He says “we looked into your salary and it's actually a little bit under the industry standard. Here's a raise.”
Would that have happened if he decided not to wear a tie? Probably not.
The point is Travis was not dressing up for an interview, but it led to opportunity anyways.
The truth is everyday is a job interview.
That is the power of your presentation. Had he not worn a tie, he would have blended in with everyone else and the opportunity would've never presented itself.
Now this isn't to say that will happen to you, but who knows what opportunities will come?
Objection #8 – You Dress Like My Grandfather
What a compliment!
Your grandfather fought in WWII.
Was married to the same woman for 50 years.
Successfully raised 4 kids. Started and sold two companies to make enough money to put all of them through college and leave you guys 2 houses.
Hmm? I think the guy did pretty well for himself.
50 years ago, going out to a restaurant, the grocery store and even church were are all activities that used to be valued more than they are today. We live in a different economy and a far greater number of people enjoy the simple luxuries of life now.
If you look at pictures of travelers in the 1930's – you'll notice how everyone seems dressed up. Today, you won't be shocked to see men in shorts and tracksuit pants on board a flight. This shows the preference for comfort over presentation.
When someone compares you to a person from a different era – treat it as a compliment. Remind yourself that you are doing what people have been doing for centuries – presenting themselves in the best possible way.
Objection #9 – Who Are You Trying To Impress?
Your wife or girlfriend may question your motives after noticing that the opposite sex is now paying you more attention.
Women notice men who are smartly dressed. In their opinion, a man who pays attention to details is a man worth paying attention to.
The extra attention could cause your partner to ask questions about your motives.
On the one hand, you do want to make a great first impression. On the other hand, your partner needs to feel secure in your relationship.
How do you handle this objection? By being an attentive boyfriend, husband or partner. Show your partner that her opinion matters the most to you. Shower her with affection, attention, and romance (as you should), and watch her turn into your most supportive fan in your quest to be the best-dressed in your class.
When it comes to managing change, there is no such thing as too much communication. Communicate your true intentions and involve your partner in the change process.
Objection #10 – You're Just Following Trends
When people believe that the change initiative is a temporary fad. They expect you to return to your original state when you run out of motivation. Only time will reveal how you deal with this objection.
Use this objection to fuel your growth. Long-term and permanent change requires discipline. Build good habits into your daily routine to stick to your style goals.
Start by cleaning out your wardrobe. Get rid of any clothes which don't fit your body or the updated style you are trying to adopt.
Burn your bridges by starting all over with a fresh, versatile wardrobe. It can be a substantial investment, but the returns over the next few years are justification for this one-time splurge.
And in order to continue improving your style over time, seek supportive friendships!
Expect resistance to change and plan from the start of your personal image program how you will effectively manage objections.
Remember, you are the one making the change. Dress the message.
The rest are just going with the flow. Accept their criticism as a compliment while you uphold strong standards in how you present yourself.
Dressing well is about having great style, and knowing what works and what doesn't. The only way you're going to find out is by experimenting. Don't worry about the criticism – get started on the journey to being the best-dressed version of you.