Ryan: Men, make sure you stay with me on this one because style although it is often overlooked really is a critical component of helping you become a better man. More often than not, the way you look and the way that you show up says a lot to other people about who you are.
My guest today, Antonio Centeno with Real Men Real Style shares with us how important style is, the benefits of improving the way you look, what core components you should consider when improving your wardrobe, and how you can become a man of style.
Voice Recording: You’re a man of action, you live life to the fullest, embrace your fears and boldly charge your own path. When life knocks you down you get back up one more time every time. You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
Ryan: Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler and I am the host and the founder of Order of Man. Whether you’re new or have been listening to us from the last couple of years, you are now tuned into the best podcast available for men.
Today, we’re talking specifically about style, but we also cover health, relationships, fit performance, self-defense, psychology, just about anything else that is going to help you and I become better men.
Now, if you don’t already know, this is an interview show, but we also have a show released each and every Friday where I share some of my thoughts with you from throughout the week. But, with that said, if you want more information, you can go to OrderofMan.com/097 for the notes on this show. And also, go to Facebook.com/groups/orderofman. You’re going to eighteen thousand men over there having thousands of conversations about what it means to be a man and how to improve every facet of your life.
Also, I know I mentioned this every single week, but make sure you check out our exclusive mastermind, The Iron Council. This is a brotherhood guys of two hundred plus men who are doing everything they can to improve their lives. We’re wrapping up the discussion this month on time management, but next month next week, we’re moving into the month of February and we’re going to be having the discussion about forging strong relationships.
So, we’re going to give you all the tools, the resources, skills, accountability to help you and your relationships with friends and colleagues, kids, your wife or your girlfriend, anyone else that you might have a relationship with. I’m going to talk about that more during our break, but for now head to OrderofMan.com/ironcouncil.
Now, let me go ahead and introduce you to my guest today and friend, Antonio Centeno. I initially came across Antonio’s work with Real Men Real Style as I was considering launching Order of Man in early 2015. But, since then I’m able to build a relationship and a friendship with him.
This man knows a ton about style and fashion and, not just clothing, but the psychology of increasing your style, body language, manners and mannerisms, and just about anything else that’s going to help you increase your overall presence, the presence that you have in this world.
He’s the founder of Real Men Real Style like I previously mentioned, but he’s got over a million subscribers on his YouTube channel. And we talk about this a little bit in the show, but he’s got over seven hundred videos there and he literally has thousands of articles, videos, courses. They’re all going to help you understand how clothing fits into this conversation of masculinity.
He’s the co-founder of Men StyleCon along with Aaron Marino with I Am Alpha M. We do talk a little bit about this during the show, but it is definitely something that you should consider attending if you really want to be a man of style.
Antonio, what’s going on? Thanks for joining me on the show today?
Antonio: Hey. You’re welcome, Ryan. It’s good to be here.
Ryan: You are all the way in Ukraine, so we’re – we’re on the other side of the planet, but nonetheless we’re making this work, right?
Antonio: That’s – that’s right. That’s right. And, we’ll be together here soon. You’re going to be at my StyleCon event. And, yeah, I was — we were just talking, Ryan before this interview how it is great to – to see people on a regular basis and to be a part of their growth.
Ryan: Yeah. Well, no, I got to tell you I appreciate everything that you – in fact, you may or may not know this, but I actually attribute StyleCon two years ago to actually the launch. It corresponded with the launch of Order of Man and I attribute a lot of the success – early success of Order of Man to the event that you put on and the connections that I made with you and Aaron and all the other guys and the ability that we’ve had to stay in touch. So, I got to tell you first and foremost I appreciate you and what you’ve done and how you’ve showed for me in my life and business as well.
Antonio: Hey, you’re welcome man. I’m still waiting for that check though.
Ryan: It’s coming. Just keep waiting. It takes a long time to get to Ukraine, so…
Ryan: [Laughs] Hey. So, I want to ask you because this is a question that gets brought up a lot and I think there’s may be some misunderstanding or just misinformation about style and what role style actually plays in masculinity and that’s the conversation I want to have with you today.
Would you mind maybe giving us a brief overview of why style is even critical in the conversation of masculinity?
Antonio: Sure. You know I don’t – I don’t get that deep. I think you probably had or you’ve already talked to other guys like, you know, Brett over at the Art of Manliness and Tanner Guzy over at Masculine Style or, you know, what they cover there.
For me, it’s pretty darn simple. When I was in the United States Marine Corps, marines paid attention to the uniforms. And we had inspections and it was just something that initially, you know, I didn’t understand like really what’s the point, why are they so specific.
[0:05:06] It’s about attention to detail and it’s also about an understanding that we live in a very visual world. And that you look at a lion you look at a lion’s mane, what does that symbolize? For that animal, it symbolizes health, it symbolizes where he’s at in his life…
Antonio: And, where he fits in society. And, you know, you look at peacocks, same thing. You look at — I mean just throughout the animal kingdom. And I think with men in general, our image our style our presentation whatever you want to call it and I think that’s where a lot of the problem runs into is people have, you know, they – they just – it’s the same thing, but they view it differently however you want to say it.
For me, it’s about how you present yourself in society, so people make that snap judgment. And, I do think that a man has to have a strong inner core. He needs to stand for something he needs to spend time on his education and self-development. But, how we present ourselves to the world is one of our main if not for most people their main sense of making sense in this world.
So, why would you shoot yourself in the foot and put out a, you know, give this feeling that you aren’t that – that man that you want to represent that you know yourself to be.
Ryan: Right. And, you know, what’s really fascinating as you talk about this is that a lot of guys will say, well, that’s not fair, it shouldn’t be based on the way we look. You hear this in society today, but my thought is that’s reality, so why not we – why don’t we operate in reality and just accept the fact and use it to our advantage rather than our disadvantage, right?
Antonio: That’s a bad word in my household, the word fair. I talk to my kids about that I’m like life is not fair. And I need to – I don’t know who started pushing out that we were all going to be treated equal. But, if you look around, I mean, you know, I’m happy that, you know, I don’t want to, you know, get off topic too much, but you know life is not fair. And, just go to a kids’ cancer ward, that’s not fair at all. You know these kids did nothing and they’re – they’re dying of cancer.
And, you know, life is just what it is and it’s the reality and if you don’t deal with it, I mean I look at the kids that because I was, you know, I’ve got friends that are, you know, dealt with stuff like that and to me what gets people through that is that they don’t – they don’t look at the [suck] and how bad it is, they may – may have a little bit of humor with it, they have fun with it, they say, well, at least, you know, I’m going to – you know they approach it with that – that mentality.
But, I think you’re saying it’s not fair, what you’re saying is it’s just not a priority to me or I don’t understand it and , I don’t want to put effort or I’m lazy or I just wanted to hand it to. And, I’m sorry, but nothing in life that is worth having is going to be handed to you.
Ryan: Yeah. Yeah. Great point, solid point. So, I’m going to go back to one of the animals you use as an example because I think this is the extreme that I think a lot of guys will take this to as well. You mentioned peacocks and I think what a lot of guys especially the “manly men” are maybe concerned that if they improve their style, they don’t want to take it too far or don’t want to be ridiculed or don’t want to go overboard with this idea of being fashionable because they will probably get mocked at some degree.
Talk to me a little bit about that and your thoughts around that?
Antonio: Well, you know, that’s the same guy that maybe is in pretty bad shape and he says, well, you know, I don’t want to start lifting weights because I don’t want to become really buff.
Antonio: It’s like, well, come on, you know, that’s a – that’s a good problem to have. When you’ve got people saying, wow, you know, you really are looking good, you’re making me look bad. Okay, that – that you may want to tone it down, you may want to re-evaluate your style, you may want to change things up a bit more go for an understated look. That’s a good problem, you know, versus where you most guys are at right now is they’re wearing clothing that’s two sizes too big.
So, you know, I don’t really – I go back at them and like let’s have that problem because that’s a better one than where you’re at currently right now which is most guys don’t even care. They don’t even – they don’t even know that this is something that is holding them back.
Ryan: Why is that? I mean is that – is that something that just – why is it not on the radar?
Antonio: I think, you know, there’s a lot of factors that go into that. It used to be, you know, that we understood the importance of presentation. I mean you go back and you look at various presidents throughout history. I meant these guys were shard dressed men.
George Washington, you know, wore a pair of shoes with diamond buckles on them. I mean these were guys that, you know, he wore false teeth he wore a wig for a reason. The wig symbolized actually your position in society who you were. All of these things, I mean they paid attention and then at some point we started devaluating, somehow putting — trying to push it down.
I don’t think there’s a great plot out there, I just simply think that, you know, you look at manufacturer. A lot, you know, it used to be that all men had custom clothing because all of us had to make our own clothing. Then, about a hundred years ago, we had the manufacturers come in, a lot of off the rack clothing mass manufactured and guess what? For mass cheap manufactured clothing, you want to have something that fits everybody.
[0:10:00] Therefore, it fits nobody and that’s – and a lot of skills like tailoring like getting clothing to adjust, it has become less – it’s just something we don’t do because our clothing has become so cheap. It used to be that you had to save up. You didn’t have actually much clothing and so, you wore what you had again and again and it had to be interchangeable. It wasn’t a – it was a luxury to have nice clothing.
And, nowadays it’s become something where we spend a lot of money on things that didn’t exist before. So, we’re spending big money on an iPhone, but yet we’re not wanting to invest in a pair of shoes or a sports jacket which is probably going to actually get a much stronger symbol of who we are and what we stand for.
Ryan: Right. And you talk about this a lot and this is something that I’ve learned even just over the past couple of years because I don’t consider myself someone to be a fashionable or even frankly a stylist guy, but one of the things that I’ve learned a lot from you and some of the other speakers and bloggers at StyleCon is the concept of buying timeless items that are very versatile.
Talk to me about that because – because you could break the bank, but I don’t think you need to if you’re trying to improve your style.
Antonio: Sure. You know what? I go down to my style pyramid which is fit, fabric, and function. And, you know, if you follow those things right there, you’re going to be able to – you’re going to be able to spend money and not waste it.
So, I do try to identify certain things in a man’s wardrobe, it really depends on what his career needs are and I like to focus there first because when you’re going out there whether you’re a banker or whether you’re a consultant or whether you are a master electrician, whether you are a, you know, you sweep the street. Whatever it is you do, there’s oftentimes a uniform.
And I want to make sure that guys are dressing appropriately that they’re dressing in a manner like if you’re a young up-and-coming lawyer, in your mind there is a vision of what a successful lawyer looks like. Or you might as well start practicing becoming that and dressing like that successful man you know you will be in ten years because it’s going to take you years to develop that style that you used to wearing it.
And, you’re right and so with that, you know, with that lawyer example, a suit is a great option. However, you know a lot of guys that may be they work in blue-collar jobs and say they’re in auto work or maybe they work in a factory down in Alabama. Whatever it may be, there is clothing — there are certain pieces, maybe it’s going to be a nice, you know, maybe up in Michigan if they’re an auto worker. I saw that Ford is actually moving some of their manufacturing back in Michigan. Great thing, but Michigan has some pretty tough winters.
And when you’re going to and from work, probably you’re going to be wearing a jacket or getting in and out of your vehicle, but I would say for these guys probably having some decent outerwear maybe some Carhartts. You now Carhartt it’s a good quality made in the Midwest I still believe. And I know whenever I used to do radio communication tower work, there were Carthartts and then there were a lot other imitation. But, you would oftentimes splurge for the Carthartts not because you were some hipster, but the actually were made of better quality they stood the test of time.
Antonio: And, when I was up on those radio communication towers and it was, you know, this is in Iowa it’s freezing cold, I wanted something actually with higher armholes because it gave me more freedom of movement and they just simply fit and look and work better. So, it was about like having the right type of gear and being able to get the job done.
Ryan: And then – and then, the fact, you know, you talk about quality, but you’re also talking about the fact that they’re just going to last longer, so buying pieces that may be more expensive, but of higher quality is probably more – the more cost effective thing to do rather than having to buy new jackets or new pants or a new suit every – every single year, right?
Antonio: Yeah. I mean I am a big advocate of you buying less and what you have wearing it into the ground. Like everything when you – you know one thing I – it’s taken me years to do this, but when I look into my wardrobe I love every single piece in there. And oftentimes, you know, that sometimes means I don’t have a lot of variation in certain items because I love certain colors I love certain looks. When it comes to shirts I really like dark navy shirts. I probably got like ten of them.
But, there are small different variations, you know, with the style some of them have like a pocket on one chest and have double pockets. Most of them have no pockets and they have contrasting buttons. But when it comes down to it I love that look, it matches a lot of things in my wardrobe and, you know, that’s just kind of my go-to pieces.
And, you know, I – so, I, again, depending on what their career path is, you know that’s where I would steer them to – to find what they love which they know looks good for them. And we can get into a lot more detail about complexion all these other stuff and I cover that over at my website. But, once you start, you know, it becomes so easy for you to wear clothing that you love and you love the way you look when you walk out that door, you feel like a million bucks and people pick up on that confidence.
Ryan: Oh, for sure. Yeah, I know exactly what you’re saying because every time I buy a new shirt, my wife will send me a message or send me a text she will say, well, let me guess it’s a blue checkered shirt of a black t-shirt because those are my two go-to items. So, I definitely know what you’re talking about.
[0:15:05] But, how do you – how do you even begin to find your style or even level up your style because I know when I’ve tried to improve the way that I look with my clothes and that sort of thing, then I feel somewhat uncomfortable or even out of place because it’s not something that I’m used to?
Antonio: So, I’ll take a step right back to what we talked about earlier about style pyramid; fit, fabric, and function. Actually, I’ll put function ahead of the fabric. But, imagine like a stool, so it’s got three legs.
First of, make sure that the clothing you own does actually fits you. And, if you’re not willing to invest in that clothing and take it to a tailor to get it adjusted to fit you, then it may not even be something that you want to keep, so a nice well-fitted pair of jeans. A lot of guys they’re wearing jeans they never get them hemmed, so they’re wearing them too long and you can tell because look at the back, you notice how they’re literally tearing in the back?
Ryan: Right. They’re dragging them down.
Antonio: Because they’re wearing them too low. So, little small things like that actually wearing a pair that fits you properly maybe size, you know, most men are wearing clothing that’s way too large for them. And there’s a difference between being, you know, a lot of guys think that, oh, it’s going to be uncomfortable, it’s going to be too tight. Not necessarily, you’re just not used to wearing something that actually fits your body.
And, I’m not talking about wearing tight skinny jeans here. No, if you want to get in that, our buddy Ryan Magin, he’s all into skinny jeans.
Ryan: That’s exactly who came to mind for me too.
Antonio: Yeah. And, Ryan – Ryan does his thing. I love his fas – I mean he – he is great and definitely go check out Ryan. He’s a good friend.
But, you know, for me I’m more of, okay, I’m going to – I’m not – I’m going to say if you are going for that loose carpenter type of jeans and you’re not a carpenter, let’s maybe just go with a regular pair – regular cut. Go with Levi’s, go with Lee, whatever would – Wrangler, whatever the brand it is, but go with the regular cut.
And, actually say, hey, this actually doesn’t, you know, try wearing it for a day or two because one thing about jeans is they will stretch out. But, getting and identifying that perfect pair of jeans maybe getting it hemmed a bit, that right there is going to be a big step for a lot of guys.
Then, all of a sudden it’s shirts. On shirts so often guys have all these billowing fabric in and around the waist area. Get that trimmed in. Maybe you – you probably have certain colors that you gravitate towards naturally. Most men are pretty good and actually naturally picking out their favorite colors. We’re just drawn to them, we say what – I mean I know for me, green has always been my favorite color. I do like blue, but – so I gravitate towards olive green. I’ve got some olive green sports jackets. I’ve got an olive green shirt. I’ve got a pair of olive green chino, but I – I really like it in jackets. That’s why I found that it works on my wardrobe. So, there are certain colors that you gravitate towards and find out where you can – where you can fit them in.
But, getting back to the fit item, you know it’s making sure those – get those shirts adjusted. If, you know, also looking at do I need to re-buy an item. If there’s something that you wear all the time, there is nothing wrong with what you said about, hey, you know, going with a number of black t-shirts. If you like the way the black t-shirt looks on you, well, there is another guy, his name is Steve Jobs. Last time I heard he was pretty successful and he had a uniform which most people remember.
Antonio: It was that turtleneck, it was those jeans, it was those – it was those New Balance, I think they were New Balance running shoes. I mean that was his uniform. He, you know, he wore it again and again. Mark Zuckerberg, same thing. He’s got gray sweat – gray hoodies, gray shirts. I mean that – he’s put up a picture of his wardrobe, it’s the same thing. I mean it’s kind of crazy. But, for other guys and he can do that, he owns a billion – both these guys are worth billion dollar companies.
Ryan: Right. Right
Antonio: They can do that. But you know what? In the banking industry or if you are, you know, you work and you happen to wear a suit, there’s nothing wrong with having a number of, hey, you really like navy blue, maybe you’ve got a few variations, but you’ve got three to five navy blue suits. Maybe there’s a small variations with them and you keep your shirts pretty darn simple, maybe you change up your ties, your pocket squares, the shoes, a few things like that, but that’s perfectly fine. Because for me the clothing is not – I’m not – I use the example of the peacock, but that’s often misused. I know it’s in the pick-up area.
Ryan: Right. Right.
Antonio: We talk about peacock and things like that.
Ryan: Peacocking, right.
Antonio: But, if you look at the actual animal, it’s a, you know, it’s a big deal, you know to be able to grow. It’s a sign of health, it’s a sign of good genetic material, and you know their world it’s a big thing. And it’s not, you know, peacocks don’t look at themselves as peacock, they just look at, hey, I’m basically going to be passing my genes on to the next generation. And, you know, that’s – so, I’ve got a little bit of evolutionary biology in my background as well, so I’m, you know, for me I look at, hey, you know, what do you want to get from this clothing.
And, that’s, you know, and that’s a whole another topic I could get into with the why you dress and all that stuff.
Ryan: Gentlemen, just a quick pause to introduce you to the Iron Council. This is our exclusive mastermind and it’s reserved for the men who are willing to do more than they’re willing to talk about being a better man.
[0:20:06] I mentioned earlier in the show, but starting next week we’re going to be talking about forging strong relationships. And this is crucial as you are on a journey to become the best man that you can be. So, we’re going to give you the tools, the resources, the guidance, the direction, and most importantly we’re going to give you the accountability to help you build and forge strong relationships with friends, a band of brothers for example, kids, your girlfriend or wife, colleagues, anyone else that you may be interacting with on a daily basis.
If you are ready to take your life to the next level join me and a two hundred and twenty plus men inside of the Iron Council and surround yourself with other guys who want to succeed and they’re willing to do what it takes to ensure that they do. You can learn more and you can join forces with us at orderofman.com/ironcouncil. I hope to see you inside.
Now, let me get back to my interview with Antonio.
You talk about even the consistency and the way that, you know, Bill Gates or Steve Jobs or Mark Zuckerberg show up in the world. Is there a value – a perceived value from others in being somewhat and relatively consistent in your appearance?
Antonio: Well, I mean every time you go to see a doctor, what do you expect?
Ryan: Sure. Yeah, the white coat. Yeah.
Antonio: The white coat. I mean for some industries, yeah. I mean if I – it’s 2:00 in the morning and my wife is home alone and, you know, she’s in a big city and we need, you know, we got the toilet backing up and there’s a knock at the door because I called, you know, a master, you know, a plumber to come in and help fix the situation and the guy outside looks like he’s drunk and in a torn up t-shirt and, you know, flip flops. Is she going to open the door, you know, with three young kids in the apartment?
Antonio: No. She’s going to say who is this, yeah, who is this guy? But, if he – if he’s got a nice uniform, if he’s got, you know, his nametag there, Tim. And if I told her Tim would be stopping by and he’s got the other one, you know, Roto Rooter over on the right hand. You know it’s like these things they’re small, but they’re visual. And, that’s, you know, that sends that signal.
So, I do think there is, you know, a sports jacket or a suit, it’s not going to at the, you know, after someone has spoken with you for awhile, it’s not going to protect you from everything. But, I look at it almost like a suit of armor because we have been bombarded with television and with everything we see that this is something we should trust.
So, I do like it because I do think it gives you a few extra seconds and if you’ve got an important message whether you’re in sales, whether you’re running a nonprofit, I do think that this can give you that few extra seconds so that you can get your message across.
Ryan: Yeah. And, you know the other side of this too is that if you can standout for the right reasons, I need to qualify that, for the right reasons I think that’s really important too because it’s really easy to get lost in this sea of sameness.
I use my beard for example. I like having a beard, but the other side of it is that it distinguishes me, it sets me apart, it makes me unique and so people begin to recognize that and even I can stand out from a crowd. So, that’s part of the deal too I think, right?
Antonio: Oh, yeah, yeah. I had a friend, he was actually former – former force marine – marines. And this guy I mean he bought a number of suits from me, but he started a business in which they were selling high – I mean surfboards as art. And so, he was going to all these big art exhibits in New York and everyone else is wearing suits and really nice – but they were wearing surf gear, you know at the – I mean that was their uniform and…
Antonio: It made sense with what they were doing and they also stood out from the crowd. And, you know, I thought that that was a good call, you know it’s right there, you know, right there they standout they’re memorable, it works well. But, I think for a lot of guys they haven’t even thought this through. They think, oh, I’m a jeans and t-shirt kind of guy. Well, look around, everyone else is wearing the jeans and t-shirt wearing the same ball cap.
Antonio: You are following a fashion trend. I’m sorry, most guys don’t even know they are like they’re following the fashion trends that are currently going on right now and they don’t even know it.
Ryan: Oh, yeah, that’s interesting I never looked at it like that. But, it’s kind of like this default thing that we just fall into, right?
Antonio: Yeah. Because society puts out this is the clothing that’s available to the vast majority of us. So, we buy what is available, we wear what the herd is wearing because we don’t necessarily want to stand out we don’t –
And I talk about this, you know, have the courage to be the best dressed man in the room. And, it does take courage because you will stand out, you will sometimes get attention. And I’m not, you know, again, it gets back to your situation the messenger trying to send. If you are a secret agent, of course, probably you don’t want to stand out. You know but for most guys, you know, they – they are wanting maybe to go out there, they’re young and they’re single or maybe they’re divorced and they’re back in the dating game or maybe they just got new up-and-coming company and they want to get that extra, you know, they want to get – they want people to remember them and give them that few — ten seconds so that they can start, you know, can pitch what they’re about.
Ryan: So, the other side of this and maybe the opposite end of the spectrum or the extreme is is the idea of maybe even overdressing because I think there is the antidote out there that says you should always dress one level above what it is you’re trying to d. If you’re going for an interview, dress one level up.
[0:25:06] What are your thoughts about that and maybe even overdressing?
Antonio: Yeah. Get back to the function. You know when I talk about the style pyramid, I talked about it. So, the second thing besides fit is talking about the function. You got to make sure it’s the right uniform for for what you need.
So, when I was in the marines and I know you were in the army, you know, we had different uniforms for different times. So, we had our dress blues which if you’re going to have a marine call – marine ball which our big party on our birthday, you’re wearing your dress blues.
Antonio: And that’s a great uniform. But, when I’m going out to the field, I’m wearing my cammies. I also started off as a student naval aviator. We had a flight suit, so you’ve got all these different uniforms for different reasons and at the same time they’re appropriate for that particular space. The flight suit is great because, you know, I can tell you it was just such a great uniform because you could basically be running in commando under that and nobody would know.
Antonio: You know you can go party all night show up in your flight suit and, you know, and just roll back. But, that was such – but that uniform is made so that you don’t get caught on things, you can get in and out of the cockpit easily. The cammies, totally different, you know, it’s – I remember being in Virginia on the field and, you know, you had to treat those cammies because you’re getting covered with ticks.
Antonio: You’re out there, you know, you’re just covered in this stuff. Or you’re out going to the mud, you need something that’s durable that isn’t – I mean is rubbing against metal, is getting, you know, up against branches all the time that isn’t going to tear or if it does, you know, you can stop and repair it.
So, all of these things, you know, they got a time and a place and if you’re overdressing, you’re just dressing inappropriately because you never – I mean you don’t want to wear a tuxedo to an event where everyone is dressing casually. It’s just out of place, it doesn’t look right. But, at a black tie event, you do want to wear the tuxedo or, you know, if it’s black tie optional, then I guess you should wear the black suit.
Ryan: Right. And, I know this is a line that’s difficult, you know I even look at these celebrity award shows for example and – and they’re always willing to push the boundary a little bit and some people really land it and other people fall completely short. And so, it’s – I know it’s really difficult at times to find that line, but that fit, function, fabric I think makes it a little bit easier to understand what it is you’re actually trying to accomplish.
What are your thoughts about faking it ‘til you make it because there’s a lot of guys and even guys listening to this that are at a point where they know they want to enhance their life they want to level up they want to have better relationships, they want to get promotion, start businesses, but they don’t quite have the confidence. Do you suggest that somebody start internally, externally with their fashion clothing style appearance? Where should a guy start?
Antonio: Well, you know, I think that that saying fake it ‘til you make it sounds good because it rolls off the tongue.
Antonio: But, I don’t really like it because it’s got this negative like somehow that you have to fake something. Like I do think that there – every man has something to offer, every woman has something to offer and it really oftentimes is just their own, I mean, yeah, I get it you’re – you’re young you’re 22 years old you just graduated college you have no experience.
But you know what you got over that 52-year old guy that you’re interviewing with? He got thirty years ahead of you and, he’s probably wasted more than half of his – that thirty years. You’ve got energy, you’ve got – you’ve got this – you got vigor, you’ve got the ability to part – to party all night still show up to work or work all night and make things happen. You – you just – there’s a lot that you can still bring to the table. So, I almost like think that, you know, that I – I don’t like that saying, fake it ‘til you make it. I would say what you should do is you’re looking just to put your best foot forward.
Ryan: Yeah. I mean this – this makes total sense. Outside of clothing, I mean what – because I know when you – Real Men Real Style, you’re talking about more than just clothing, so what else should we consider when it comes to putting your best foot forward?
Antonio: Yeah. You know at Real Men Real Style I use clothing as the vehicle to help guys start to get what they want out of life, but we talk a lot about, you know, just everything that goes into appearances. So, there’s also about, you know, posture. One of the things whenever you talk to a guy that’s maybe just left the military and comes back from boot camp, one of the things is parents oftentimes asking is, wow, you got taller. Well, I didn’t get taller, he just stands up straight now because he slouched over.
Ryan: Sure. Sure.
Antonio: No, it’s those things like posture. I noticed this in business school whenever I would walk around I would walk around like I had purpose because I do have purpose. So, I really try to, you know, work on that inner parts, so the body language.
What else? We get into the presentation being able to talk, have the confidence. So, working on improving your – I mean actually I just did a video on manners and etiquette. Very, you know, small things or at least most people think they’re pretty small nowadays, but I think that manners and etiquette in general have become more important as we actually see people less and less.
[0:30:04] I used to be we had to do business oftentimes face to face quite a bit more. Nowadays, we’re doing everything via Skype or we’re doing things over, you know, we’re on separate sides of the world right now, but whenever you do actually meet people or you engage with them manners are incredibly important because they have an expectation of that you are going to, you know, it’s like if you have a bad experience from this person, you have a very few opportunities now to get that leveled up.
Or, as you’ve probably seen on e-mail or text oftentimes intent or the emotion can be misconstrued and so, if you don’t know how to handle that, you can really screw things up. And ,yeah, we oftentimes bring in guest – guest speakers. I know Claudia over at Text Weapon, she’s helped me like with, you know, how to use text. You know our friends at AJ and Jordan over at the Art of Charm. They are just incredibly good with, you know, the soft skills.
Antonio: But, that’s kind of where I’ve kind of gotten into a little bit over at Real Men Real Style, but oftentimes I’ll refer people over to the guys that, you know, make – that’s their big focus.
Ryan: Yeah. But, I know – how many videos do you have? I can’t – I don’t even know, I mean you’ve got what? Thousands?
Antonio: No, we’ve got just over seven hundred, but we do have probably another thousand that are unlisted. So, we have quite a few out there and it’s something that I try to be ultra specific in some of my videos. I do find that that’s the information that guys really prized.
Ryan: Right. Right. Are there any things – any items or any of the areas that you cover that are often overlooked by men because I know, you know, you can talk about finding a good suit, you can talk about getting a good fit, you can talk about having a nice jacket or nice pair of jeans or nice pair of shoes. Are there some common things that may be get overlooked to frequently?
Antonio: I think a lot of guys forget about cologne and fragrance. I mean there is – there’s a big community of these guys and a lot of, you know, they really get deep into it. But, I find that most men aren’t using it and one of the reasons being is it we’re not a sensitive to it as women are. But, it’s one of our main senses and it definitely can have a very – I put out a lot of studies.
One of the things we do at Real Men Real Style is I go into the stacks and we do a research. And, I was just finding all of these research on the power of fragrance, how when you wear certain colognes it can increase your alertness. How when you wear certain colognes, it can actually increase your ability to, you know, be trusted for people to trust you.
And you think about the implications in business, I know one of the biggest companies or one of the biggest industries that’s spending a lot of money on this is the trucking industry which I found kind of odd.
Ryan: Interesting. Yeah.
Antonio: Yeah. The reason that they were spending so much money is because think about it, a truck – their drivers are falling asleep. So, if they could actually have certain scent that would keep their drivers more alert and less likely to fall asleep I mean that’s worth a lot, it’s worth millions and millions of dollars.
Antonio: To individual trucking company alone. Yeah. So, things like this that are kind of, you know, over there yet a lot of guys don’t even think about it, they don’t think that they could have a signature fragrance or they depend on women to choose the fragrance for them and they end up never wearing it. When a guy has – everything he needs, he can choose and men are perfectly capable of selecting their own fragrance.
And so, yeah, I put out like a lot of infographics on how to wear it because I find – I find that one of the things that as men, we don’t like to – we don’t like to look like a fool. We don’t – and we feel that somehow asking basic questions that seemed like a seven-year old would ask somehow makes us look bad.
Antonio: So, we don’t – we don’t even go down that path. So, if you look at a lot of my information at Real Men Real Style, it’s very simple things like how to tuck in your shirt. Yet, that video that we just went out today, I can tell you this video is going to do super well because we give secret ways that keep your shirt tucked in all day which a lot of guys — well, maybe some guys in the military would have known like shirt stays, but we also talk about the military tuck, how the underwear tuck works.
I mean it’s – it’s kind of funny, but on the other hand, if you’re talking with a colleague and because it’s only 9:00 in the morning, you’ve already tucked your shirt ten times, you don’t even noticed that you just put your hands down your pants and just look like you’re grabbing your crotch in front of your female colleague.
Antonio: And, she’s just – you don’t – the thing is you don’t notice it and she just is like aghast. Guys do this all the time.
Ryan: I bet.
Antonio: And that’s what I – yeah, and I try to help them understand that they’re shooting themselves in the foot – in the feet and just how to get past this.
Ryan: Yeah. I know that makes sense. So, let’s just jump back to one of the things that you talked about which was I think the premise basically of what it is you’re trying to do which is helping to get – helping guys get what it is they want.
So, talk to me a little bit about maybe the benefits even of improving your style because I think we talked a lot about how to tactically make this a little bit work in your wardrobe, but what is the benefit of even doing this? Like what are some of the success stories that you hear from the guys who are upping their – their game?
Antonio: Well, to get down to the core benefits, it really just comes down to you’re going to improve your attraction levels and you’re going to make more money.
Now, the making more money, there’s actually a guy named Hamermesh out of – David Hamermesh out of University of Texas where I went to school and he was in School of Economics. He wrote a book called Beauty Pays and he talked about, you know, they used to statistically show in the school – in his stuff and he’s got a lot – and there’s many other things out there that you make like $232,000 extra over your career.
Antonio: That was on average. Yeah. That was average for that study. But, you know, that right there and I throw that number out a lot because I like it it’s specific. But what it comes down to it, the thing is that you don’t see the opportunities you’re missing when you don’t look the part of – and you betray people’s expectations. Because you start that job at that bank and you never get promoted past teller and you kind of wonder why, but you just figured that, hey, maybe this isn’t just the career path for me.
But it comes down to, they just didn’t want to put you in front of, you know, some other high net worth individual clients even though you had great skills, they just didn’t think you had what it took to have those personal skills. And so, you know, it was never translated or passed on to you and you missed that opportunity.
And that’s where, you know, a lot of these opportunities are invisible to guys and that’s where we – I try to show that, yeah, you will make more money. And I love – I got like a couple of hundred testimonials on my website where guys share these stories about, you know, a lot of guys I know they want to be more attractive. They want to go out there and they want to get a great looking partner. They want to, you know, in a sense get the girl when – and people are going to ask him, oh, my God like how – what is she doing with you?
Ryan: Right. Right. Of course.
Antonio: Yeah. You know and that’s a lot of guy’s dreams and I do, you know, focus in a little bit on that. But, I think the bigger thing and for me I try to show them just, hey, guys, you know, it’s about you develop – you have to have a solid core first.
And then, this is just some – it’s like a diamond – you look at a piece of coal you know, how does it become a diamond? Through heat, pressure, and time. And, I look at – and it becomes this beautiful polished stone and – but it has to go through that polishing. And that’s where I look at your clothing and it’s like you are – a lot of guys I just see them out there, they go to great schools or they go to, you know, maybe they have to sacrifice and they go maybe a not so great school, but they studied their butts off and they worked hard. And they just wonder why am I not seeing the results.
And it’s because no one can see what is inside and that – that clothing, that uniform, that – that outfit and the mannerisms all that body language, all of that is just to shine so that the world can see what you have to offer.
Ryan Yeah. I love it and so true. It’s definitely applied in my life as well. So, Antonio we’re winding out on time, I want to ask you a couple of questions before we – we shut things down today. And the first question I did prep you for is what does it mean to be a man?
Antonio: You know for me, I would have to say and I’m probably influenced by Brett over the Art of Manliness on this. I would say…
Ryan: I think we all are to some degree.
Antonio: Yes. I love how he talked about, you know, it’s kind of the opposite of being a child. You know to me it’s – I mean I look at my wife, it’s not the opposite of being a woman. My wife, when I’m put and I need to be up to got the airport at 4:00 in the morning, she’s up at 3:30 making me breakfast. That woman and I think all, you know, a lot of guys out there can say to have a partner to have someone behind that’s got your back is amazing.
But, it’s with my kids and I have four of them that I see that I’m constantly battling with these emotions with these things that are, you know, the selfishness the – which all serves a purpose you know. Kids have to be selfish when you’re fighting for a limited resources.
Antonio: You know when I see them not taking responsibility, when I see them kind of pushing something off. So, for me becoming a man is simply, you know, mastering a lot of these primal emotions or things and realizing that I have a great – I can contribute a lot to society. I can contribute a lot to my family.
And, being a man is oftentimes having that courage and having the, you know, I think the will the spirit whatever – whatever people call it to constantly, you know, get up out of bed and try to put your best foot forward and I fail a lot of the time. I would have to say like there are mornings I just – I’m not motivated, I’m like any other guy out there.
But, I do think it’s the law of averages and if I can just – if I can just be stepping a little bit – making a little bit of progress every week because not every day do I make progress. But, some days I have great progress, other days it’s a step back.
Antonio: That to me is – is what it means to be a man.
Ryan: I love it. I love it. Powerful stuff.
Well, Antonio tell me a little bit about StyleCon because I think too there might be a misconception that’s into only about style and it’s not guys, I’m telling you, again, this will be my third year in attendance. Tell us a little bit about what StyleCon is?
Antonio: We’re probably going to rename it because I do think that that is a, you know, and so StyleCon, you know, imagine that three hundred guys getting together and just really looking to learn from each other to – it’s – it’s basically a three – well, now, it’s a two-day party that – and I mean it in a good way because I didn’t want it to be a conference where you show up and you got to, you know, trying to put on a show for the people. This is more of I’m getting together with three hundred of my friends and we’re sharing best practices.
So, we got a personal development day, we’ve got a business day. I know I keep the business day and even though guys may not be entrepreneurs or – but they – most of them do work for a living. And so, what we talk about there is how to get better at your job, how to think like an owner, how to, you know, understand earning power, how we do what we do.
And then, we get into the development and there’s always time for the personal development, but this is about a man taking time because we get so busy in life that oftentimes we’re not taking that step back to say, am I even on the right path? And I think to surround ourselves with men who are doing things that are pretty darn amazing and we don’t have that in our day to day lives. We’re surrounded just by people that are – oh, that are content with average.
I can tell you no one at StyleCon is content with average, everyone is there to find a way to get to the next level. And as you’ve talked about it, you know, every – you’ve experienced this that people at higher levels are – they’re not kicking people down, they’re reaching down and finding out ways to pull those around them up to their level.
Ryan: Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. Good. Well, we’ll make sure we link everything up. Tell me – tell me the dates, Antonio?
Antonio: It is going to be February 3rd and 4th in Atlanta, Georgia. Let me go double check that. Yeah, 3rd and 4th, Atlanta, Georgia. And, yeah, you just type in men style con it will pop up. And, yeah, we will probably – well, you know, it’s about lifestyle. We’ve got fitness guys there. We’ve got guys talking, I know we had [Ted Ryson] talking about, you know, sleep. We got the guys from the Art of Charm. We got Eric over there from BeardBrand popping in. Brock from – what is it? Modest Man.
Ryan: Yeah, Modest Man.
Antonio: Just – just, yeah, so just a wide range of people.
Ryan: Good. And I’m going to be there too, so I’m looking forward to it. And we’ll make sure…
Antonio: You are?
Antonio: Yeah. [Laughs]
Ryan: Did you – was that a surprise?
Antonio: Yeah. I was joking.
Ryan: You’re messing around with me. [Laughs]
Antonio: I am. I told you – I told because I know you were talking with – with my project manager, Rick.
Ryan: That’s right.
Antonio: And, yeah, you had the — you want to [ditch]. I’m like, man, I’m like, you’re one of our best speakers. I love having, I mean if you have – if you’re listening and you haven’t seen Ryan in person, you need to because this guy can hold a room. No, it’s really it’s a great message and I love having you on the stage.
Ryan: Oh, I appreciate it. I appreciate you. I got to tell you, I really do. I mean if I were to rewind two years ago, there’s a few moments that I really attribute a lot of the success and the reason guys are even listening to the show right now and a large part of that is what you and Aaron had put together and of course the other guys that I met at StyleCon and have been able to developed a relationship with. So, I appreciate the way that you show up, I appreciate the dedication to your craft.
And, Antonio thanks again for coming on the show today.
Antonio: Yeah. You’re welcome, Ryan.
Ryan: There it is men, Mr. Antonio Centeno sharing what it takes to improve your style. If you can, I would highly, highly recommend that you come to StyleCon, February 3rd and 4th. I’m going to be speaking along with some incredibly successful men.
And if you do register, you got to let me know. Make sure you let me know as we are going to be doing an Order of Man get together on the evening of the 2nd to get to know each other a little bit better. You can get the details at orderofman.com/stylecon2007. I hope to see you there.
Now, one last reminder, go check out our exclusive mastermind the Iron Council. Again, the tools, the skills, the accountability, the resources, everything that you need in order to forge strong relationships with a band of brothers, colleagues, kids, or wife or a girlfriend. Essentially anyone that you interact with from day to day. You can learn more about that at orderofman.com/ironcouncil, you can join us there.
I look forward to talking to you on Friday for our Friday Field Notes, but until then take action and become the man you are meant to be.
Voice Recording: Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast. Are you ready to take charge of your life, be more of the man you are meant to be, we invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.
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