Saying the right thing – what does this have to do with style?
Quite a bit, believe it or not.
There's a lot more to a man's presentation than the clothes he wears. The language he uses also plays a huge role in how others perceive him.
Ever get tongue-tied, particularly in those situations when it would be good to have something to say?
What if you didn't have that problem anymore?
Today I'm going to share with you the key phrases you should start using daily when you communicate with the people around you.
This is based on the important principles of manners and good communication.
Add these key phrases to your conversations and you'll never be lost for words again.
1. Positive Reinforcement – Build People Up
First things first – you need to be a good influence on people around you.
See someone struggling? Ask “How can I help?”
There are so many ways to say the right thing. And so many situations that call for it.
Imagine your best friend lost his job. He’s applied all over town without any luck.
Give him a call and offer a boost of confidence.
Tell him “I believe in you. You can do this. I’m here for you. I’m here to listen.”
And it’ll let him know someone cares. That alone might be enough to push him to success. He’ll remember you. And when the time comes, he'll remember to return the favor.
Compliments go a long way as well. Do you need to shower people with praise all the time? No. In fact, avoid it – it makes you look weak and insincere.
But compliment people when it matters – especially when the relationship matters. Tell your significant other how amazing they are, perhaps more often than you think they need to hear. The same applies for an overworked coworker.
The words “Great job!” work wonders for morale in any office, especially when it's well-deserved.
Caesar made sure to single out and praise individual soldiers when they went above and beyond. Centuries later – the best educators, bosses and coaches do the same thing. The results speak for themselves.
Don’t underestimate the power of positive reinforcement.
2. The Importance of Honesty
I know what you're thinking: “Antonio, I know I should be honest. This isn’t new.”
But are you honest in a productive way? Is what you're saying necessary and valuable as well as true?
If not, do you need to say it?
If so, say what you need to but remember that you don't have to be a jerk in order to be honest.
This includes when you're in management and having a difficult corrective action conversation with an under-performing employee.
They're far more likely to improve with a reminder from you of their value and their potential. Try saying “I’m going to be tough on you because I know you can do better.”
Believe it or not, this principle also applies during disagreements with loved ones. Be honest but be kind and fair. Control your emotions – learn to negotiate.
Address an issue if it genuinely bothers you – no matter how petty – and focus on the behavior without making judgments about the person's character or value:
“I love you but I don't like it when you (insert grievance here) and this is why.” Then tactfully explain why.
This approach works so well because it shows your intentions clearly and proves your confidence in the other person in spite of the criticism you're offering.
The result? A relationship, working or personal, that's still intact and a partner or colleague who still feels safe with you.
3. Mind Your Manners
Believe it or not, courtesy is in short supply these days. The good news? You can remedy that. And it's SO EASY.
Need to get through the door? An “excuse me” is common sense.
Make sure to say “please” when you need something, and “Thank you” when you get it. Has someone thanked you? Say “You’re welcome.”
Introduce yourself properly – “I don’t think we’ve met, my name is-“ is perfect. It’s kind and to the point.
Something that’ll get you major brownie points? “Don’t worry, I’ve already paid the bill.”
And don't forget that good manners still apply when you're in a disagreement with someone.
Sometimes we don’t all see eye-to-eye. That's fine.
But it's not an excuse to be rude, nor does it mean that you have to be a doormat.
A simple phrase like “I see your point, but I disagree because…” allows you to stand your ground but shows the other person you understand their point and that’ll make them amenable to your view. It also offers the ever-important reminder that you value the relationship in spite of the disagreement.
4. Be Vulnerable
This one may be tough for some of you.
As men, we’re often told vulnerability is a weakness. Gents, it’s time to get out of that mindset.
Openness and authenticity about your emotions is not weak – nor is it unattractive.
Opening yourself up to someone is not a sign of weakness.
Be genuine and don't be afraid of saying the right thing. Don't hide who you are. Be attractive and honest.
If you’re having a tough time in your own life, tell somebody you love “I need help.”
When somebody wrongs you, say the right thing: “I forgive you.”
If you’ve wronged someone, lose the ego and own up to it. Say “I was wrong. I’m sorry.”
And gents, the most powerful phrase out of these? “I love you.”
These words matter, gentlemen. When it comes to saying the right thing to the most important people in your life, this is almost always a good choice. Say it to your loved ones, and often.
Saying The Right Thing – Conclusion
These phrases – and the principles behind them – will make an immediate difference in the way others perceive you.
Words matter. Think of them as part of your wardrobe, and integrate them as such.