Hi. I’m Antonio Centeno and you’re listening to the Personal Image System podcast.
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So, let’s go ahead and let’s dive into texture and the importance of it in your wardrobe. This is something that no one really ever talks about and no one really thinks about, but subconsciously texture is a great thing to add to your wardrobe or to pay attention to because of the message it sends and the subliminal the — I would say subconscious effect it has on others. And, the research on texture and touch and the power of it goes way back, but I’m going to – I’m going to go right here in Wisconsin.
I think there was a guy named Harry Harlow. He was a researcher he had a lot of stuff come out the 1960’s early 1970’s, some of it pretty controversial. But, one thing I can tell you about his research is that they took this, I think it was rhesus monkeys and they separated them from their mothers.
Really sad stuff here, but what we found is that it had a huge effect on anxiety and I can tell you that baby monkeys wanted to be able to close – be closed and feel their mothers. They would literally jump forth ahead.
I remember two – I remember seeing this stuff reading about this as a kid. And they had it set up so that on one side you had the milk with a fake looking monkey that had no fur and then you have the warm – one that kind of look like a mom, but it had like a computer’s face, but it had fur on it and stuff.
And, what would happen is the baby monkey would hug onto and hold that fur mom like it was it’s mom until it was hungry that it would jump over, grab some food from the other one, but jumped right back over. And it would not stay on the one that basically was cold, but had food for too long, would almost go without food, it wasn’t even getting enough food.
What this – and so, you know, I’m sorry to bring up that story, you know, I know some of you guys, I mean I’ve got animals and to me it’s – it’s just not research I would recommend. But, what we’ve learned from that and what other research in this area has indicated about texture and how it affects us is that at a young age, we want to be able to grip on. And it’s not something that we lose, it’s something that we can control, it kind of gets pushed back, but people want to be able to touch other things.
And, when it comes to connection to building relationships, one of the barriers is if you can get someone to touch them to touch you or to touch you to touch them, all of a sudden a lot of barriers start to break down between people. And that’s great if you are looking to build trust, if you are looking to get closer with somebody, if you’re looking – you’re out on a date, you want her to touch you.
So, imagine if you’re wearing a sweater, a beautiful cashmere sweater and as you’re talking as you’re introducing each other, she looks at the sweater and without even thinking she touches your arm and she says, “Wow. That’s a beautiful – I love your sweater.” And she runs her hand just to feel the sweater, but what she has done is she’s reached out she has touched you. She was drawn to the texture.
Sweaters and using cashmere using wools that are very approachable, you can have this in your jacket, you can have this in your trouser. What it does is it opens up and it makes people want to get closer even other men, like, wow, you know, that’s – they may not even know what they’re doing, but they’re going to touch maybe your shoulders and say, “Wow! This looks really good. Where did you get this?” All of a sudden you’re building a deeper connection.
This may be someone that you’re looking to close a multi-million dollar deal with and you’ve been engaging with you’ve been talking with and you’re out and he just says, “Hey, man this is a great looking sports jacket. Where did you get it? Do you mind if I touch it? Man, my wife would love for me to have something like this.”
All of a sudden that touch that invitation to get closer, that guys is what you’re looking for in communication when you’re looking to strike a bond. But, understand texture isn’t just about cashmere, it’s not just about, you know, things like this to get you closer. It can also texture can send a message about strength and masculinity.
Another area where we’re going to see texture is leather jackets. So, think of a – think of a really nice a little bit maybe not leather jackets are never truly formal, but if you think a formal leather shoe, what does it have? It has a nice shine to it, it doesn’t have a whole lot of wrinkles versus a type of leather jacket maybe that’s really worn that has a lot of texture in it that has a lot of breakup almost like it’s – you can tell it’s a very thick heavier leather. That right there is going to give a sense of a distress of this is a very masculine maybe bomber jacket or it’s a street – street type of jacket.
The point is leather gives off a very strong masculine type of feel and it’s something that when worn, it can actually give, you know, for many people gives the bad boy type of message without actually you having to be a bad boy. You can wear a biker jacket you don’t have to be a biker. So, all of a sudden that goes into the perception that comes off of there. And there’s a whole bunch of research, I cover more of it in the Personal Image System in my Science of Style section, but we start to talk about other fabrics and how that texture has an effect.
Another thing with texture is actually the importance of taking care of your skin. This is something in grooming that I really advocate that the man especially when he starts to enters his 30’s, he enters his 40’s. In your 20’s you can probably get away, your skin does a great job of maintaining its elasticity and it produces everything it needs to have that nice very soft, you know, feel to it.
But as a man gets older, all of a sudden it’s like that leather jacket. Literally, they’re almost the same thing. It starts to separate a bit more from the – from the muscle and the fat underneath, it starts to have more wrinkles in there.
That’s why I really advocate for men that does – he’s a lot in sales, you know, I’m not going to advocate makeup here, but what I’m going to advocate, yes, you heard me said, unless the only time unless you’re getting under a camera then in that case that the makeup can be used to actually reduce shine on your face, yes, I would advocate it. But, in this case what I’m talking about is actually using lotions, anti-aging creams, not just on your face, but also on your hands and other parts of your body.
I live in Wisconsin, it gets really cold here in the winters, I advocate that a man does it because whenever you’ve got chaffed whenever you got dry peeling skin all of a sudden it give that – people don’t want to touch that versus if you have warm soft looking hands, then people want to take your hand when you put it out there.
They’re going to give you a little bit longer of a handshake. They’re going to, you know, perhaps it’s your wife, she’s going to want to touch your great looking face after a shave and you put on, you know, maybe a type of lotion or an aftershave which just gives it a nice softer look.
So, I’ve talked about all this texture, how to bring into your wardrobe. I talked about sweaters, that right there to me being able to – now, a lot of guys they just go out there and they look at the inexpensive sweaters, maybe the heavier built ones and they think, well, how am I going to – it’s too warm to wear a sweater. Well, there there’s a whole range of summer sweaters of light weight sweaters, possibly finding a really nice cardigan that you can wear in lieu of a sports jacket.
Maybe, you know, okay, maybe you’re not a sports jacket kind of guy, well, look to bring in a hoodie and I’m not talking about the hoodie that’s got, you know, the design on the front and then it has got, you know, the wings on the back and it says like – well, you know, what I’m talking about. I’m talking more of a dress sweaters/hoodie, they are out there they’re going to be a little bit pricier. But, another place is to actually bring in a very light weight sweater that can be thrown over a shirt and helps you to layer, can be even thrown under a sports jacket.
Now, in your suits if you – or sports jacket, you can bring in texture there. You can look for flannels. Flannels are one of the most underutilized I think trousers out there, I advocate men having gray flannels, light gray, dark gray, charcoal gray, Cambridge gray, there’s wide variation.
I really like gray trousers not only because you can bring in the texture, but gray trousers are pretty much a non-color, therefore they’re going to match almost any jacket almost any shirt and they’re a big part of an interchangeable wardrobe.
I also advocate bringing in tweeds, you can bring in corduroy on your trousers. This is something I don’t see many men bring in. You can bring in birdseye, barleycorn, houndstooth.
All of these wide variety of fabrics which can be found in sports jacket, can be found in suit, all of a sudden you’re able to really bring in that texture and get people so that they want to touch it. Even seersucker for those of you guys in the hot area, that has a texture in it, thanks to the weave of the cotton.
In shirts, the way you bring in texture is you look for a variety of different weeds. So, maybe you look at a broadcloth, look at an oxford, look at a poplin, maybe a herringbone. I really like herringbones because from a distance they look solid, but when you get up close, you can start to see the distinctive pattern and the – it doesn’t always have like a whole lot of texture, but it gives the illusion that there is more texture there.
Finally, textures in footwear. And, guys I go into a lot more this over at Real Men Real Style or you could just go over to the show notes over at realmenrealstyle/episode11.
But, what you’ll find in shoes is a lot of guys they never think about bringing in texture, so suede bring in various types of leathers that have been treated and have different colors and variations to them. Maybe having various types of leathers on there so maybe bring in a derby or maybe bring in a fabric-type of shoe just a regular slip on.
All right, guys so let’s wrap up texture. The key with texture is to remember that it has a real effect on people. It can send a strength of strong masculinity, it can send a signal, hey, come closer to me please touch me, so that we can break down barriers.
Guys, it depends on the message you want to send, but learn to incorporate it into your wardrobe, maybe bring in one piece, maybe bring in two pieces, don’t go overboard with it, but start to think outside the box how you can bring it in and then use it to your advantage.
Interested in learning more about how style can increase you earning power, help you command respect, and come off as more attractive? Gentlemen, I’ve got two options for you. First, go check out the Personal Image System, that’s what this entire episode was based off of. It’s got the science of style where it’s action-oriented, it’s got an amazing community, live training, a hundred plus lessons with resource material. Or, go check out Real Men Real Style.
Guys, I’ve got a free app over there. In that app you’re going to find infographics, thousands of free videos and articles. I’ve also got free e-books at Real Men Real Style, free courses, and I’ve got a free consultation system, so you can enter a little bit of information about yourself and it spits out a personalized video for you.
Gents, that’s it. I’ll see you in the next episode.