Dressing sharp can be one heck of a ride.
You get all the attention at parties.
Beautiful women flock to your side.
You get praised by bros and colleagues.
You're told you could be the next Bond.
It can be overwhelming!
You have to accept the thorns that come with the roses.
Read on to see how hard it is to be well dressed these days.
Disclaimer – This is a sarcastic post meant to be funny. Don't take it too seriously. It's for fun:)
#1: You Receive Way Too Many Compliments
“Looking good!” “Very handsome!” “What a guy!”
Doesn’t it overwhelm you to hear those things every hour of the day? To watch your confidence soar? It’s an uphill battle trying to stay grounded and humble – complete torture.
It gets tiresome deflecting them or diverting attention. You can’t help but feel like someone who turned into some overnight celebrity. You kind of understand where Brad Pitt was coming from when he called fame the b-word.
The hardest part? It’s the PR burdens of maintaining a humble persona. Your smiles have to look sincere. You make it a habit to respond “Thank you!” or “You don't look so bad yourself!” Without it you seem more big-headed.
And what if you can’t help but blurt out “I know right?” with no ounce of arrogance? Well that's socially damaging. You don’t want to face the repercussions there.
#2: You Get Mistaken For The Manager Of The Store
You could be at the supermarket heading to the aisle for a pack of beer when suddenly – “Excuse me, sir. I would like to ask about…”
Yikes! It’s these circumstances when you navigate the realm of awkwardness. There are two pitfalls to avoid: (A) looking bothered or offended and (B) making the person feel foolish.
So you better ensure the whole thing doesn’t blow up into a big deal. You have to smile and say you’re a customer – restraining yourself from anything else. No chuckling or eye-rolling (PR burdens again).
He/she will apologize and then look away in embarrassment. It’s best to reassure the person with “No worries.” You’ve got to be the hero or you come off as the villain. The victim here is never you.
#3: Unfamiliar People Act Super Nice
You brace yourself for that whirlwind of friendliness that follows you everywhere. You're bombarded with “good morning” greets. People are opening doors, pushing elevator buttons and letting you go ahead of them.
You get addressed as “Sir” quite a lot. Those at the lobby of your building call you by your name (or surname). All these people you encounter regularly but hardly talk to – strangers – appear to know you.
How about those “What’s His Or Her Name” fellows who randomly wave and say hi? They mention your name right off the bat. You however only recall the time and place you met. It's a tough hurdle to face without embarrassing yourself!
#4: Your Wife / Girlfriend Wants You To Dress Down
The heightened attention causes your significant other to show hints of overprotectiveness. You can’t blame her – women are hitting on you.
There are those who smile as you walk by them. Some can’t resist touching your cashmere sweater. And these things happen with your wife or girlfriend PRESENT.
And if you’re thinking only strangers are a concern, think again. The kids’ babysitter might start wearing short skirts to try seducing you at home.
Or the waitress during your date treats you like a VIP but ignores your wife. She wants to have your babies and that really sucks. You’re clearly not a playboy – how insulting!
Trust us when we say there’s nothing scarier than a jealous wife or girlfriend. So if she’s asking you to dress down, heed her words. Do you really want your clothes all cut up and burned?
Can you handle your woman transforming into a Blank Space nightmare? Laugh these off at your own risk.
#5: Your Boss Worries About Losing You (Giving You A Raise)
It’s a question of loyalty in your professional life as well. Now your boss has suspicions. Why the outfit upgrade?
He calls you to swing by his office. One of two scenarios can happen. The first would be getting a raise up front. The other is a long and winding mental test to endure before getting the same raise.
If you’re unlucky enough, you face the second scenario and it's no fun! He's expression is neutral. He mentions the raise you brought up not too long ago. He believes you really wanted it and got let down. He implies you’re thinking of moving on.
He puts you on the spot and asks why you’re dressed so well. He’s afraid you’re interviewing. Don’t stir that pot of tension. You simply have to smile and say it’s a personal choice. There's no hidden agenda.
He’s got no valid reason to fire you. You’re not caught in the act you’re accused of. But he has trouble believing your honesty and decides to play it safe. Good news – you end up with a raise! Bad news? You realize you it's out of the boss’ fear, not a job well done. Where’s the honor in that?
#6: People Assume You're Wealthy (And Supposedly Generous)
You’ve got drinks with friends from out of town. You haven’t met up in years. So how else do they react when they see you looking good? First round is on you!
Or what about that lady from last week’s party who gave you her number? You arrive at her doorstep to pick her up for date #1 and – uh-oh – she cracks a joke about no private jet.
How dare they make such assumptions! It’s not like you were just handed down awesome clothes. You got them through hard-earned money that did NOT grow in your backyard. Perhaps you really should’ve demanded a raise from your boss – a much higher one.
#7: Everyone Sees You As Some Expert
You've had it with people assuming you're some guru. Why can’t they see you as a human being? That you don’t know everything and you’re not the world’s single best at whatever it is you’re good at? Nobody’s perfect.
But if you’re perceived as an expert in fashion, be honest. You do know a number of things about it.
You know the steps that can be taken by men who want to improve their style. So tell them the truth: you got true expert advice from Real Men Real Style. 🙂