You were putting on a pair of pants…
While lying down…
And WIGGLING your way into them
(like some bizarre dance in a ritual).
Does that sound comfortable or painful?
That's what you get when you're wearing skinny jeans.
They're called “skinny” for a reason.
The fabric is tight – almost similar to pantyhose!
unhealthy for the crotch…
For me – men should never wear skinny jeans
(unless they're skinny men themselves)
There are other options for jeans that suit your body type much better.
But – that's just my opinion (take it with a grain of salt).
Keep reading to find out why I'm against the trend of men's skinny jeans.
Reason #1 – Skinny Jeans Are NOT Comfortable
I'll go straight to the point here. Don’t sacrifice comfort for stylishness.
You may be willing to make certain compromises for your style – but it's not worth letting your lower body “suffocate” inside very tight clothing.
But sadly, there are guys who feel like that's okay. Here's some alarming info from a survey of 2,000 British men who wore skinny jeans:
- Every 1 in 4 guys wore skinny jeans simply to look good – or show that they could still “fit” in them (despite the discomfort)
- 30% admitted they experienced discomfort from their skinny jeans
- 40% stated that they would rather be stylish than be comfortable
Just how uncomfortable can those trousers be? Well – you can probably guess from the definition of skinny jeans: jeans which are EXTREMELY tight all the way from the waist to the ankles.
Their build involves a lowering of the crotch area – which makes your legs appear shorter than they are. And this “downsizing” of the lower body causes you to feel less mobile. And less masculine too.
To make matters worse – the pockets of men's skinny jeans are really just for show. They're a mere design feature. You won't get to conveniently stuff your wallet, phone or keys inside them.
And let's not forget the wiggling. It does take longer to remove or put on a pair of skinny jeans compared to other pants – and you'll wiggle a lot while doing so.
That's because you’re forcing your body to conform to the shape of those jeans – instead of letting them conform to your body shape. The reality is most guys don't have the right body type for skinny jeans.
Several factors must be eliminated. You can't have too much muscle or a large frame. Your chest can't be bulging out. You can't keep any sort of beer belly.
Your whole body has to lean toward the lanky side (or like a male teenager's) – or the jeans will accentuate the bigger parts and make you resemble a cartoon character! It'll look uncomfortable to others, and that's because it FEELS uncomfortable.
Note: Skinny jeans are NOT the same as tight-fitting jeans – particularly the Wrangler kind. Those have been around in Western culture for a long time. They're designed to fit closely to the waist and crotch. But the leg parts are flared and loose.
Those tight-fitting jeans don't restrict freedom of movement. I grew up West Texas seeing men wear them all the time. Cowboys could easily get off the saddle of a horse or bull, get back on again, or escape when the animal gets mad – thanks to those jeans.
Reason #2 – Skinny Jeans Can Cause Health Issues
What if you can handle the pain? Or there's no pain at all? Or maybe you're just a naturally slim guy?
Does that mean you've got the thumbs up to put on skinny jeans anytime? Not exactly…
Discomfort and pain are just a chunk of the issue. Going back to that survey of British men, it was also revealed that:
- Half of the men who wore skinny jeans were known to feel tension in the groin
- Over 25% suffered from bladder problems
- Every 1 in 5 men experienced a twisted testicle
Yes – skinny jeans don't just press against the “little guys” down there. They can actually harm them.
This is confirmed by Dr. Hilary Jones of the Swedish-based brand, TENA – which specializes in products for adults who suffer from urinary/fecal incontinence. Some major health issues caused by wearing skinny jeans include:
- Urinary tract infections (leading to over-activity or weakness of the bladder)
- Lower sperm count (as the testicles twist or lack breathing room to function well)
- Fungal infections (since the tightness restricts airflow to the body – which causes heavy perspiration around the groin)
Is tightness really that big of a deal? Yes. Try to picture your “little guys” when they're stuffed inside a medical glove – and all five finger slots are tightly knotted together. It's a disaster waiting to happen! And that's what skinny jeans tend to do over time.
Reason #3 – Skinny Jeans Do NOT Show An Attractive Silhouette
It may not be so obvious, but skinny jeans don't create the kind of silhouette that's most attractive for men's style.
Your want your pants to display a V-shaped silhouette. But skinny jeans tend to compress your legs straight down from the hips – so that shadow “mutates” into a Y-shape instead.
Why is this NOT attractive? Consider how people's eyes suddenly focus on the compressed “twigs” that cover your ankles, calves, and knees.
Because of that – you end up looking top-heavy. And even if you're naturally thin, skinny jeans can still emphasize your lack of bulk (making you seem more “ungracefully tall and thin”).
Ask the ladies if you want a second opinion. I can't think of any woman past her teenage years – who has told me she sees skinny jeans as attractive on men.
Bonus Reason: Skinny Jeans = Passing Trend (NOT Classic Style)
No matter how many times they go “in” and “out” of fashion – skinny jeans are just not a trend that has staying power.
They're only a passing trend like those square-toe shoes and airplane-wide shouldered suits in the 80s.
They might remain relevant as a statement piece for the “young and rebellious” – but they've lost most of their popularity.
Think of today's influential men and male leaders. They incorporate certain styles – but can you imagine them wearing skinny jeans?
No. They're much more likely to stick to the classics. Because classic and timeless style is always preferable to passing trends.
So why not follow their example? You'll save yourself hundreds of dollars by not buying any skinny jeans. You'll learn to be more selective – to find the right trousers and other items among the classics that allow you to (1) be your most stylish and (2) express your individuality.
Alternatives To Men's Skinny Jeans
If you were to ask me, I'd focus on choosing the right jeans for your body type – and rule out any form of skinny jeans as an option.
You want to feel fully comfortable in your trousers while leaving something to the imagination. It's better not to broadcast the outline of your “package” or stuff in your pockets. You have more class than that.
Consider the slim (or slender) fit of jeans if you're on the thin side and you don't have a lot of muscle. Those will at least go with the rest of your outfit (especially dark denim jeans) without drawing unnecessary attention to your lower body.
Btw – if you’re over 30, also check out this video on how to buy jeans as an older man.