How Does A Man Become Confident In Himself

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Hi, I’m Antonio Centeno, the founder of Real Men Real Style, and today I’m going to be talking about confidence and where is it come from? Alright, if you have them already please subscribe to YouTube channel by doing that, these videos will come right to you. In addition, if you like this, you find it useful please like the button right down there. And finally I’m going to link you to an article which is going to expand what I’m talking about. In addition, I’ll link you to my free 47 page e-book which gets a lot more into men’s style and that kind of stuff so make sure you click on it down below.

Alright, let’s jump into this. I received quite a few questions about confidence and where does it come from – a few people have asked me where do I get the confidence to stay in front of the camera and to talk to you guys about men’s style and a few other issues. So I thought I would just give you my personal experience in where I draw my confidence from? Now I think this is important and even though primarily I talk about men’s style, I want you guys to understand that men’s style and clothing is really not that important. I mean it’s – and that’s coming from a custom clothing and a guy that sells clothing for a living but to me I look at it, it’s simply is a reflection of your inner self because if you’re hollow and you’re empty inside, then none of this matters, you’re just an empty suit. You’re an empty sports jacket, you’re an empty guy in a good looking sweater because you need to – I mean the clothing is just amplifies which you already are.

You need to have a great message and you need to know who is that inner core and the clothing is just a microphone, it’s just going to allow you to put that in front of more people and hopefully have a positive influence on the world. So having said that, what are my sources of confidence? I was able to come up with four pretty quick, there’s probably more but I’m going to talk about the four that really hit home with me. The first one is accomplishment and it starts small. I remember in the second grade, I got second place in the entire premium basin at which is [0:02:00] [Inaudible] none of the cities matter but from this Emmy’s rhea ton and I was in second grade and the only kid that beating was a sixth grader and it wasn’t — because I read more books that any other kid even though and the way it was judged is for every book you read you get a certain amount of money that then on how many sponsors you got.

I live in a trailer park, most of the people only sponsor me like a nickel or even a penny per book. And I remember I looked at how the other kids they were getting people like a dollar and they were only reading like ten books and I’m like, “screw that. I’m going to read hundreds of books.” And I mean I didn’t read, I read like a hundred and fifty books though and so this people that, poor people that thought they were going to be cheapskates and only give me a nickel, I end up collecting on them. But I remember that is like a turning point it was like, “wow, I got second place in – it didn’t matter that where I came from.” And that was a big confidence booster and it built from there.

I became an eagle scout, I went United States Marine Corps; I’ve now developed two separate businesses which are both doing very well and things like that builds your confidence up because you realize that the things, those mountains that you saw, they’re actually very climbable and you rock when you do that kind of stuff. So go out there and accomplish, play the biggest accomplishment now for me and one that’s very different than anything is actually raising children who I’m very proud of and I see how my son’s doing in school, how he’s – one of the top readers. It’s because we spend – I mean he’s an accomplishment. Every night we spend time reading to him, not only in English but my wife spends time reading to him in Russian and Ukraine, I’m very proud that my children go out and they can – they’re multilingual when a lot of other kids I know can’t seem to keep that multilingual. So little things like that, I’m just very proud of that as you can tell I’m a gushing dad here. So your accomplishments really I think helps with your confidence.

Next is going to be history and looking at where you come from. This is stuff that’s beyond what you done but knowing that you come from a lineage of survivors, I mean we all do if we look at it. I mean, we’ve survived generation after generation and I’m proud of what my grandfather’s accomplished, I’m proud of what my father’s accomplished, I got a bronze star as a E3 in Vietnam, his post was overrun, so things like that I’m very humble and I realized I’ve never been in a position like that. Even though I don’t necessarily get along great with my father, I respect where he comes from and I respect his accomplishments and things like that – you look at your history, you look at not only your family history but you look at your ethic history.

My son I’m very vague about explaining to him the history of Ukraine, I’m not Ukrainian but I know that that’s going to be strength he’ll be able to draw from, from the kozaks to the modern day changes that they’re making as a young democracy. My marine corps, it was a group I decided to join but one thing I was very impressed with the Marine Corps and continued to be to this day is the love of history…

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…and how we treat other marines because even if you’re a general down to a private, you’re a marine and you’re dressed as a marine and you always show them respect. And I haven’t seen that – other military groups, especially foreign, I don’t think that there is the same respect that marines have for each other. A lot of that is because we all know our history, we all celebrate our birthday together, we all celebrate where we started. We’re very proud that we started in a bar – ask any marine, what tavern and he better know.

Okay education, and I’m not talking about multiple degrees because that’s actually I think a very small thing. Degrees show nothing more that you can show up on time; you’ve got a piece of paper for putting in a certain amount of money. What I’m really proud about is that I’ve been able to take that knowledge and transfer it into wisdom and that’s come to a lot of experience, a lot of falling down but my education and I think the best education a man can get is going out there and pushing so hard that he does fail. But you never fail for the long term if you continue to pick yourself back up and once you know that you can continue to pick yourself back up, I mean you can’t be stopped.

Alright, empathy and this is I think probably one of the most important ones because this is looking at your fellow human beings that people – I mean, I know you’re on the other side of that camera and it may be a month from now, may be 10 years from now that you’re watching this video. And I know that you’re facing the same struggles and have the same challenges that I face and even if you’re much wealthier than me, if you’re much poorer than me, and that’s a realistic term but it really comes down to we all lived and we all faced challenges in our lives and so I have confidence because I can look at a man whether he’d be a large, really big man that’s kind of intimidating a small man, whether it be a woman who looks unapproachable.

I look at all those people and I realize that they’re human beings and that they have the same challenges, the same problems, the same heart aches that I do and so I feel a very strong sense of empathy for them and I realized that none of us are better than the other one, none of us are worse than the other one. We’re all at the same level. And knowing that, I feel very confident just being able to talk with anybody.

Okay so those are the four things I pull from, from my confidence. I love to hear on the comments, what gives you confidence and I look forward to seeing you in the next video. Take care, bye-bye.

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